cross stitch project

I found time to do some projects while Bub was sick.. well actually it was during the time we weren't pursuing any further treatments for him. So he was running around like a healthy, normal, crazy preschooler. I of course, had a lot on my mind. So this one certain project fit in nicely with where I was at the time in so many ways.

I created it from scratch. I bought a computer program (that the hubby taught me how to use) that would turn my cross stitch idea into a pattern. The fonts on the version of this available at the time weren't all that fancy... as you'll see. And the colors were a cross breed of what I had going on at the time-the whole 'country blue/mauve thing'- and the mystery of knowing at some point 'after', we would be redecorating, but not having a clue as to what I would do. I liked the colors in it at the time. And I've thought about re-doing it in my 'current color scheme'... which is very warm in contrast to what I had before. Yellows and reds mainly. With a shot of green here and there. But this cross stitch thing is like a snapshot in time. I spent a lot of time researching what I wanted to do. And then making the pattern. And then finally doing the actual 'finger work'. I remember praying over each word/representation of Jesus and just worshipping Him throughout this whole process. So it's a very personal piece of 'art'.

When we redid the house, I...being totally clueless as to design hired a decorator. (Remember the country blue and mauve.. I rest my case.) She was wonderful. She gave me pointers and started me in the right direction and then turned me loose. I remember pointing to things that would 'stay' when I redid, and this was the first thing I pointed to. I made several things.. but that was the biggest. I made a very small piece that says 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus' which is one of my favorite hymns. I swapped out the frame and mat color when we redid. It was also a keeper.

I loved going into the cross stitch/framing store. It was a mom and pop shop for sure. It was owned by an older couple that had run the shop for years. I had taken several projects to them over the years. During this time, they got to know Bub better since he would run around and play while we discussed framing and matting and stuff. I remember one day I had him in there and we were doing our thing and next thing you know, he just looked kind of droopy. I sat him up on the big table where customers put their projects to chose frames etc, and he quietly told me his leg hurt. I hugged him as tears fell quietly down my cheeks. I knew this was the end. The owner knew what was going on and gave me a sad smile. He was gone in a matter of weeks.

They've retired, but I still see her. We went to their church for a while. She's never failed to ask me how I am and every now and then asks me about Bub or how long it's been etc. I just love her.

One of the things people don't understand sometimes about loss is just now interconnected the loss is to everything else in their lives. It's not just the obvious things that are reminders of that time. And it's something that's come to light in some of my posts. Things I would have a sense of in the past, but more than likely not mention. I'm glad blogging gives me an avenue for that.