It's finished!

I finished my quilt Sunday. I put the sewing machine away and cleaned up the dining room. Praise be! I was so ready to do that.

And then I finished finished it on Monday. Meaning I soaked (to get all the markings off) and washed my quilt and stitched up the little corners so they are held together completely secure.

But it was a journey to get there. I think I alluded to the binding being a booger bear in my last post. After that post, I finally just decided I hated the binding and wasn't happy with the look of it. It was not pretty and I knew I could do better.




So rip rip rip..pick pick pick.



Yes, I ripped out the binding that was about 2/3 complete. That means I ripped out thread almost all the way around my quilt TWICE. Cuz I'm fun like that. Actually it was more relaxing than sewing. I watched a movie and propped my feet up on the coffee table.

I had watched a video of an alternate method to put in binding and had just tucked that away and kind of forgotten about it. Basically instead of equal parts of binding on the front and back and trying to always catch the binding on the back when you're top stitching it on the front (see my pic above when I could not keep things in line..among other probs!), you intentionally offset it so on the back it just looks like a line of quilting that nobody will ever pay any attention to. But I had to test it out first on a scrap quilt 'sandwich'. I liked it!



So in one day I was able to just get the whole new binding put in. It was start and stop and I took some breaks, but I could do it in a day rather than working and working (and crying) and not getting anywhere with a decent result with the 'traditional method' which just is not in my wheel house.



See..offset. More color on the front (yellow) and a thinner line of red on the back (white) and that extra little line of 'quilting' right beyond it. That method is brilliant. So. much. EASIER.



And here it is all laundered and crinkly. All the heart eyes!

And just so ya know, tiny red threads are the new cat hair around here. I've swept and mopped and dusted and I still find tiny red threads from ripping out the binding. It makes me smile because instead of looking at the defeat of ripping it out, I know there was victory of actually putting in a very nice looking binding and being happy with it. Yes!

imperfections

I"m still working on my quilt. I'm about a little over half way finished with the machine quilting. I have done all the seams going across the quilt, and now I am doing all the ones going up and down. A seam on each side of the 'ditch", where pieces come together.



I have kept working for another week from the beginning of this writing and now I am half way done sewing on the binding. I have sewn it on, but then I have to fold it around to the front of the quilt and sew it down all the way around, finishing the edge and encasing all the raw edges.

Y'all.

It's been a thing.

All along the way,  all I could think about was the next project. What do I want to make next? Maybe the cat block or one called the two step. I couldn't decide.

This week I've really been pushing to get this project across the finish line. I am excited but also beginning to be burned out a little bit. This is the largest sewing project I have ever taken on (hmm except for maybe all the lined curtains in my house lo a many years ago when I felt young and fresh and crawling around on the floor measuring and pinning was no big woop).

Well friends...I think I am old. I'm ready to get my dining room back and not have decor shoved aside so I can pile sewing boxes and piles of do-dads everywhere. I'm over it.

And another thing is that the struggle is real putting on a binding. It kicked my tail when I made the class projects but I wondered if it was because the angles were wonky and there weren't any true actual 90* corners. But I am on the struggle bus again with this piece that has regular corners and it is really annoying. Three of the corners are perfect or close to perfect and the fourth one had to be messed with and picked out and resewn a smidge just to make it okay.

so. bummed.

But ya know what, it really is ok. I'm not entering it into any quilt fairs. I'm just cuddling up with it on the couch. And after it gets washed, it will be super crinkly and yummy anyway.

I hate that one corner that doesn't measure up to what I wanted it to be..which is far below what a pro would call perfect. My perfect. But I will smile and know I did my best for my first real piece and love it forever and like it for always.



My grandmother pieced this sailboat quilt,  probably when she was younger than I am now.  It was just a pieced top at the time of her passing and my aunt quilted it for me and gave it to me as a wedding gift. Do you want to know what I noticed recently? An imperfection! I have had this quilt since 1991 and noticed that one boat has upside down sails a few weeks ago.

And so my little quilt with a less than perfect mitered corner (and quite a few other little hiccups) will be just fine.

from scrappy to happy #anactualquilt

I decided shortly after I finished both of my table runners that I really did want to make a quilt.

Like really.

I have been watching youtube videos etc and had made a few decisions. I wanted something pretty 'scrappy'. I wanted to be able to make a block and if I messed it up, no big deal. Because it would just 'go' and not be all matchy matchy. I felt like that gave me permission to mess up and not be utterly stressed out about it.

Because y'all...quilt fabric is pricy! I am so used to the fabric at Hobby Lobby and it always being on sale etc and this is whole new experience.

Side note...quilt fabric is pretty much the Cadillac of cotton sewing fabric..more fibers per inch etc which makes for a much better end product. Now you know...because I sure didn't.

I watched a video by Jenny Doan...who I am obsessed with, by the way..she is just such a cute lady and she makes it look like you really can do it. Well I saw a video on 'tiny houses' and I was hooked. I grabbed some scraps and tried to make one.




Success! I loved it. But I didn't have a ton of scraps laying around so I invested in some. I bought some cute fat quarters and a few grab bags of scraps at some local quilt shops. And commenced to making a few more houses.

And then it hit me...I have to make way over 100 of these for a throw sized quilt.

*insert the bug eyed emoji here*

And I know myself well enough that it was going to turn into a negative experience and I didn't want that. Because I really did/do want a quilt that I made myself..that I can snuggle up on the couch with.

So! Change of plans.

I remembered a pattern I had pinned months ago..'in case' I ever made a quilt. It's a SIMPLE four patch with a larger square next to it and that is repeated for the entire quilt. An easy beginner pattern, which the tiny houses were not. I went back to my favorite of the three shops and asked for help and showed them my fabric pieces. And then looked around and found the cutest fabric that coordinated pretty well with it, for the big squares.



I got started making squares.





(that is how the back of a perfect four patch looks..with a tiny four patch in the middle that distributes the bulk very well)



And before long, my top was finished. Verrrry scrappy. It's not a pretty quilt, by all the fancy standards, but its beautiful to me because I made it. :)

I really was wishing I could have sent my top up a flag pole or something...LOOKIE AT WHAT I DID ALL BY MYSELF. I'm such a dork but I was so happy I made it 'that far', because honestly I wasn't sure if I could do it.

But I did. :)

I went back to the cute little shop and found backing fabric that is in the same line as my yellow squares..and its got little squares all over it which to me seemed perfect for my humble little scrappy only a 'mother' could love, quilt.




Isn't it cuuuute? And the red peaking out on the right side, is the binding. It matches my red small squares perfectly.

I got my back ready, and then pin basted it and started quilting on my almost 30 year old BASIC Kenmore sewing machine (with a walking foot). I am straight line quilting on both sides of my seams etc so it will be a square double line grid all over. Again..simple.



I sent that photo to a friend and she said it looked like my quilt was trying to eat my sewing machine. Pretty accurate. It was overwhelming at first and I just wasn't sure it would even be possible for me to quilt on my 'regular' sewing machine. But I found a you tube video showing how to do it and it really hasn't been that bad. Tedious but not hard. I am working from the center out and have quilted half of it, going across. I have the other half and then both halves going up and down.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.



(blue lines drawn on seams so I can keep track of where to sew)

I think it's going to turn out cute and I am falling more and more in love with my little ugly duckling quilt.

touching my toe into the waters #quilting

I have always been amazed by quilts. I have a baby quilt that was made for me by my grandmother. I used it and even carried it on car trips etc until it started to fray and now it lives on my quilt rack. I have a few that were my mother's and I was given a quilt my grandmother pieced and my aunt quilted as a wedding present.

I love quilts. The patterns.  Stars, stripes, bear claws,  squares, triangles..and a bunch of other shapes I don't know the names of. The colors. Every color in the rainbow.  The fabrics. Everything from quilting fabric to well, feed sacks and old clothes, way back when. Quilting has come a long way. 

But quilts are intimidating. I always looked at other's creations with all the heart eyes..and a little bit of jealousy if I am just being honest.

I recently noticed that a local sewing machine and quilt shop has beginner quilting classes...what are the odds? LOL So I decided to sign up. I had to wait a couple of weeks from when I signed up to actually go to my class and I was so antsy and excited.

My first class was last Tuesday and my second class was day before yesterday. Next Tuesday is the last class. (we will come on another day to bind our quilt after we complete the quilting on our own).
The teacher is the sweetest and so is her helper. There are six of us in the class and four of us are left handed. I am used to being the minority, so that has been kind of funny.

The project we are all doing is a table runner. A very doable first project with lots of opportunity to learn different blocks and some beginner technique.

My first cuts and pieces. This was created on our first night.




This is the background fabric...it has bluebonnets on it. Those are the state flower of Texas and they have my heart big time.


And this is my almost completed top. I could not believe we made so much progress in two evenings.


I am so proud of it. I hope I don't get stuck and unable to finish. So far it has gone together so well and the teacher is so encouraging that it makes me feel like I really can do it. :)

I knew that week to week I would forget what we learned so I grabbed some fabric at Hobby Lobby to make another one so I could reinforce it all in my mind. I am just as excited about that one as the official class one. And if it actually turns out, it will be a gift so that is fun.

Such pretty colors!



Squares done but I can't remember how to square them up. So I will carry them to class next week and let her show me again. And then I can sew on the sashing. And do whatever else we learn next week.




I don't see me becoming a super fancy quilter but I am excited to perhaps create a few simple projects that are useful and pretty. So fun. Even an old dog like me can maybe learn a new trick. :)

on contentment

A few years back we thought about selling our house. But we never found something we liked. And then I got sick. So yeah..that was that.

Fast forward some years and we are thinking about it again. We need a little more space. Our daughter, while grown, isn't going anywhere. And we could use a tad more space.

I think about what I want style wise and I get overwhelmed. I look at my own house and begin to dream about all the ways I could change it.

But to what?

I started following a lot of home decor instagrammers. It just kinda happened. I followed Layla at The Lettered Cottage forever as a blogger and then followed her on insta. I guess she was the 'gateway drug' to many more decor accounts. But the funny thing is, their houses are all but identical. I'm not saying they are exactly alike, because they certainly aren't. But they have some serious similarities. And then I look around at my house, not looking a lick like any of them.

And I get restless.

My walls aren't gray. My cabinets aren't painted white. I don't have dark hardwood floors. I don't have hardwood floors at all. I don't have white slip covers. I don't have neutral, muted, soothing tones all over my house. And it was really getting to me. I kept thinking about going for 'the fixer upper look'.

But then I remembered what I have been saying for a long time about Fixer Upper...even though I totally adore Chip and Joanna, there is no way I could live in a black and white house. I need more color than a basket of apples or a vase of flowers. That is not a pop of color in my world.

So I am learning to look around my house and be content with I see. To be thankful for our house. It isn't photo ready or all grays and whites. It isn't 'all of the things', at all. But it is us. It has 'friendly yellow'..yes thats the actual color name..walls. And I love them. I have a dark red chenille couch..and I love it. I have simple antiques and things I have collected over time that mean so much to me. I made the curtains in my living areas..deep red with flowers and red, yellow, green and blue checks too. And I love those too.

I am so thankful that I have taken a pause from drooling over all things insta and looked around my own house and realized I don't need gray walls and white cabinets and wood floors and all of the things, for my house to be 'just so'.

It already is. Because it's mine and it was lovingly curated over many years. And I don't plan on changing it anytime soon. And that's good.

Be content today, friends. :)

going to the place to do the thing

***This is a rant...you've been warned. lol***

I have been getting phone calls from the funeral home that did Landon's 'stuff'.  It had always gone to the machine because I wasn't home. And I never called them back.

Well, a few days ago they caught me. Drats! Seems they have new owners now and they wanted me to come by and check on my paperwork and make sure their info is correct bla bla bla. I asked how long it was going to take and they assured me that if I didn't have any questions, it would not take very long. So I made the appointment at a time that I could squeeze it in 'just to run by there and get it done'. Whatever 'IT' was.

Well...I arrived for my appointment a few minutes late. I had to run by the vet to get some stuff for the cat (we think she has cancer..she's 14..it sucks but it is what it is..she's an old cat. Anyhoo..) I walked in the door and my eyes immediately went down the long corridor to the door we walked through to see our baby's little empty shell for the last times.

And lost it. Nice. : /

So I am quietly trying to pull it together, Gertrude and this older lady asked me why I was there and offered to escort me to a small room to wait. She was nice and is very good at handing out condolences so she pretty much insisted on giving me a hug while I am doing all the sucking it up I can get ahold of.

Well...I know..lots of well..a lady and a man came in. Double teamed. Fun. And they chatted a little bit about the plots we own bla bla bla. They also chatted me up about Landon and commented on his stone etc (honestly I was surprised they knew what was on it!)  and I think that helped them have an idea of what all we went through before they ever talked to me. It was sweet but hard talking to them. But really their intent for about 99 percent of the visit was pre-need. Y'all. I was so not prepared for any of that. I wish they had been more honest about their entire intent for the visit. But I guess if they did that, they would have very few people go through the door. But UGH. It took an hour!

So much info and so much to think about. On top of the emotions and the every day stress of being in remission. I didn't say a word about that..they would have been all over it and had me dead and in the ground before I could sign my name. LOL

I finally made it home around 2pm and dumped some veggies and fruit in the Vitamix and dumped a smoothie in an old Nutribullet cup with a lid and ran out the door to pick up someone.

Some days adulting is just hard. 

***end of rant..thank you for listening, my friends!***

Hello, amazon prime? I need boobs.

So..my fake boobs wore out. Yep. I didn't even know that was a thing.  But now I know.

It's a thing. A real thing.

I noticed a bit of cloudiness in the same corner of each one just the other day, and thought to myself that their days were numbered. And then I quickly dressed one day and washed the girls to put them on later in the morning. Which meant I was wearing my glasses.

Well. They weren't just having a little trouble. They were in full on failure. As in I could touch silicone. Y'all..I just wasn't ready for that.

I looked at my flat self in the mirror and started making calls.

I needed a scrip to get them paid for by my insurance. (they aren't cheap and we finally met our deductible..so I know for doggone sure I would like somebody else to pay for it) And there aren't very many days left for that this year. And I called the boob store and they had to order them. Where is an off the rack 'rack' when I need it? Sigh.

Oh well. It will be ok. They will be in before the end of the year and hopefully they are compatible with the brand I was currently using. Nothing is simple, folks. I told my hubby tonight that if it weren't for insurance and all that jazz, I wish we had just overnighted them from amazon or something.

Because I hate to say it, but it's been hard. As in depressing. Very depressing. I hate the way I look flat. I was busty before my surgery and my new girls were cute and perky and just right for my small frame. And now..nothing.

I dread going out the door and people looking at me. Never mind I went around for about seven months like this after surgery. But I guess I was psyched up for that. This came out of the blue and it has taken me by surprise.

Cancer steals so much. And now it's getting another laugh at my expense. I know I am more than the sum of my parts. I get that. But I also get it that I just want to fit in and not be self conscious.

My girl and I even tried to make a temporary set yesterday. That didn't work. I have been looking up crochet patterns to see if we can find something simple enough for her to make (since that is a new hobby of hers).

So yeah..Flat Stanley's very flat sister is on the loose this holiday season. Merry Christmas y'all. : )

I'm here

I guess that is a good way to start. I'm here. I am fine. Just sipping my green smoothie of this beautiful Lord's day and so aware of His grace and faithfulness to me.

There are so many things I could talk about. I could tell you about my Vitamix and how amazing it is. It really puts the smooth in smoothie. Or I could tell you how much I'm loving the early spring we are having. We worked out in the yard yesterday as a family and it was so nice. It's making me itch to plant some veggies. : )

But really more than anything, my heart his heavy. There is just so much going on in the world. And in my little world. People around me are hurting. People are finding out they are sick. Dealing with death. Dealing with life. And it's all just hard.

And it is drawing me ever more to the feet of the One who cares for me. The One who knows my heart and knows all that is weighing heavy on it.  The One who delights in my prayers. And delights in me when things are hard and I hardly feel like a delight to anyone. Except the One.

Thank you Father for being the One that satisfies my soul. Bring me to be ever more satisfied with You and less burdened by life and realize where Life truly comes from.

May you have a wonderful Sunday, my friends.

this little piggy went to Walmart

I woke up in the night last night to a weird smell in the house. In my groggy state, it finally hit me...nail polish. She had polished her nails..all of them..right before she went to bed.

What a horrible smell. Worse than that, a VOC!

It got me to thinking. I have read articles and pins about not horrible for you nail polishes, but had yet to take the plunge and purchase any. I have just done without because it's not that big of a deal.

Well. Today it became a big deal. No reason. I was kinda crabby and needed in a pick me up. So thanks to google,  I had a list of possibilities. But one stood out because of it's cute name. Piggy Paint.

The more I read about it, the better I liked it. And they carry it at Walmart.

So this little piggy went to market and got some Piggy Paint!

It is in the kiddie section of health and beauty. (it is also carried in some baby stores and some froo froo boutiques on Main Street in a suburb near me) Walmart carried a two pack of what I would call tester bottles. Very tiny. I got hot pink and really pretty turquoise kinda like color (just go with it). I also got a bottle of remover. All vegan. All no VOC. No smell at all to the paint and very very little in the remover.

I came home and painted my piggies. They are hot pink and oh so cute! It was such a simple thing but it lifted my mood so much to look down past my hot pink tee shirt, and see my hot pink piggies in my hot pink flip flops. Made. Me. Smile.

So there ya go.

(They also have an adult line, a pooch line and a toenail line among other things. Worth checking out. But the kiddie stuff comes in many colors and if I like the wearability of it, I will just stick with it. It's easy and fast.)

Happy piggies. :)

ps..I should add that my girl rarely paints her nails, so it's not like she was exposing herself to these toxins every time she turned around. : )

the dynamic duo

I made an appointment to visit a new dr because I had a sinus infection. (see previous post) I thought I was seeing the dr, but there is also a chiropractor in the office. Well, my appointment was with the chiropractor, who is also a nurse practitioner. Are you confused?

So was I! I was so thrown off by the whole thing. Anyway, she explained that they do things a little bit differently, which was welcome news. She prescribed colloidal silver for my sinus infection. The next day I was worse so I went to Sprouts and asked what else they would add to that. She commented that my sinuses were probably hard and needed to be broken up so they could drain. I knew...ew, right? So she suggested I add SinuZyme by Redd Remedies.

And together they are the dynamic duo. Yes, they knocked out my sinus infection in three days.

Unfortunately, I also have so nasty throat cooties going on. So she suggested I keep going with the silver and it should be knocked out in a week. So that's what I'm going to do..and see how it goes.

But if you have an infection..not just sinus..lots of different types of infection...and antibiotics aren't working for you, give colloidal silver a try. It just might do the trick. : )

If April showers bring May flowers....(updated)

...this year should be a bumper crop!

Y'all. It has rained an insane amount this spring. We went from having a hard winter (for us) to everything blooming within about a week. It was crazy, even by Texas standards. (If you don't like the weather, just wait a minute)

Since everything bloomed just about at once, my allergies went off the rails. And I ran out of Allergra. I thought I was doing ok but I finally came down with what I think is a sinus infection.

I have been trying really hard to kick it on my own WITHOUT antibiotics. (antibiotics make me sick to my stomach most of the time, which affects my immune system worse than being sick..and then comes the yeast infection). So yeah..I was hoping to avoid.

I have been taking...

• Garlic tablets - antibiotic and antifungal
• Lobelia - dries drainage
• Elderberry - general upper respiratory
• oregano oil - antibiotic and antifungal
• marshmallow - does many things including general upper respiratory
• licorice root - does many things including general upper respiratory
• tart cherry - great antioxidant with dinner. Promotes sleep.
• Eucalyptus essential oil - breathing in the vapors in hot water/shower
• various pharmaceuticals..advil, allegra, mucinex

I have tried enough things and waited enough time to now know that it's lingering and I need some help. Most of you remember that I had a serious run-in with my GP during my VCD days. They were so rude and unhelpful when I needed them most. So I have been searching for someone that perhaps is more holistic. East/west. Functional. Integrative. Something. I found a small clinic in the area with an m.d. that is more functional and integrative. I have been wanting to "try her out" to see if she's all that and a bag of chips. And since I can't kick this crud, today is my lucky day. (I love my integrative dr but I cannot afford to pay cash for all of my health care, which is unfortunate because I love him. And this office takes insurance..and they have a chiropractor and my girl needs to get started with one this summer.)

I don't know whether I'm going to like her. I am also window shopping because I need to move the girl over to a grown up GP at some point. After all, she's 20. 

But alas, it's not snowing anymore (like it was in my last post lo a many weeks ago). We've moved on to the pestilence of rain. Today enjoying the warm temps and sun. Word is its more rain starting next week. Fun times. Hoping by then, I have some sort of relief from my head and throat. 

Hugs and love, y'all.

Update..I liked her. It was an odd visit. A bit confusing. I ended up seeing a chiropractor that is also a nurse practitioner. Weird. But she was nice. She did a nebulizer treatment with colloidal silver and sent me home with it to quirt up my nose and take some by mouth a few more times and I can do one more neb treatment tomorrow if I feel the need. She says that should do it. Jury is out on all of this but I am willing to try it. The alternative health care world is a different animal altogether!

I made...

So I wrote a post the other day and then never got around to finishing it. Here goes anyway so I can get it out of my drafts folder. : )

I hope your Christmas and New Years were safe and happy.  Ours was quiet and nice. And as always, I'm glad it's over. I guess I'm sort of a grinch but I am always happy to pack it all up and be done with holidays for a while. : )

I am happy to say that I have not been having problems breathing. I would say 'at all' but every now and then I will notice it for like A breathe. But it really has felt nice to just feel ok in that regard and not have to put so much mental effort into correctness in that area.

When I started feeling better, I started thinking about all the things I hadn't felt like doing when I couldn't get a breathe. One of them was cross stitch. I started a project a couple of winters ago and got bogged down on this one part and just stopped working on it. So I picked that up and got past the tricky part and finished it.

I did learn making this project that I have major anxiety over french knots. I dotted both the "i"s but did not do any of the decorative knots...I kept obsessing over them looking exactly alike, which they do not, so I knew doing the 20-30 other ones was a lost cause.

INSERT PHOTO HERE..yeah it never happened. : /

I also started putting more effort into my meals again. I have lots of cookbooks but you know as well as I do that it always comes back to the simple stuff. I have lots of recipes for 'raw' foods and salads. And there are some foods I'm trying to learn how to eat raw. One of them is cauliflower. So I played around with several recipes and came up with my own. I had to come up with a name so I went out on a limb and decided to call it Cauliflower Salad. I know, right.

Nothing here is exact...chop up a head of cauliflower..if it's a large one I use about 2/3. Chop into small pieces. I used to try to make it tiny but now I just go for small. Call me lazy. Then chop up a couple hand fulls of parsley, half some tiny tomatoes, add black olives, some onions and or green onions, some lemon juice, garlic powder,  olive oil and salt and pepper. Just chop everything up in the amount and size that is your liking and add the flavorings etc and you're done. It is so yummy and bright. And super healthy. And there isn't a recipe. Just put a bunch of stuff together. And you could swap out other veggies altogether if you want.

INSERT PHOTO HERE...yeah this never happened either. : /

Anyway...I hope you and yours are enjoying the first days weeks of 2015. : )

unexpected gift

I never win contests. Except for one time I won Six Flags tickets over the radio when I was a kid. So there was that. But no other time have I won a contest. : )

Also, I feel like such a bad blogger. Not only do I not update my own blog very often, I've gotten pretty lax in commenting as well. It makes me feel so bad, but it all takes time. And lots of things in life are taking time these days.

So the other day I happened to be visiting Cheryl Barker's blog and commented to enter a contest. Never intending to win.  But I did! What a fun surprise! And thanks to a strange email mix-up, I didn't find out about it until my birthday, which was an extra sweet surprise! : )

So thank you Cheryl, for making my birthday just a little more special! : )

Hugs and love, y'all!

happy stuff

I went to the gym today in SHORTS and did not freeze. I may have blinded a few people temporarily with all the bright shining light from my snow-white legs. But other than that, it was good to be out and about wearing something lightweight and comfy. I know winter isn’t over yet and will surely show it’s ugly cold head, but I take what I can get when I can get it.

I took my kitty back to the vet today to get her kidneys checked out. Again. This was just a recheck to make sure everything was still grooving along the way it’s supposed to. She did a quick test and we waited for the results. And then she called her a miracle kitty again. Her labs are looking better than ever. And she’s gained 3 ounces. So it’s all good in the kitty hood right now.

I made baked flautas and what started out to be a mango salsa but was more of a veggie and fruit Mexican salad after I added everything but the kitchen sink. The girl and I both loved it. All the bites were eaten.

I’m still loving my NutriBullet. Love-ing! I am finishing a green smoothie while I write this.

See, happy stuff. I like that.

of bras and boobs

I had been putting off buying more bras. I knew after six months, I was eligible for two new ones. But what a hassle. And since I hadn’t been wearing them full time that long when six months rolled around, I just punted on the whole thing.

And then I decided it was time.

So I called the survivor chick place I go to and asked (praying inside for a miracle) if they still carried my favorite bra. It was a no. : ( So I had to make an appointment, come in and be refitted.

The place is super nice and very private and the girls there are great. And the experience itself is a positive one. The girl that helps me usually is a survivor herself and super patient.

We tried on and tried on. I finally asked her if I won the prize for the most try-ons.  But of course, I had not. It just felt like it. And her comment was that some girls find something that works right away. And it takes a little more work for others to find the perfect fit. And I guess I fit in the later category since my perfect bra is no longer made. (insert loud cries and pouts here)

We finally found a bra that sort of fit but it wasn’t in my size. So they ordered me one up and yesterday I went to try it on. It was a sports bra and seemed to support the foobs pretty well. And it didn’t have seams going across the bust. I HATE bras that have weird seams that seem to shine like a beacon in the night under my tops. Nothing like having my clothes shout out…lookie at the foobs. Notice anything weird? That’s exactly how some bras made me feel. Like extra attention was being drawn to the ladies than is normal or necessary. The foobs and I, we just wanna blend in, I tell ya.

So back to the sports bra. I bought it. And then tried it on again when I got home. And noticed something that bothered me ever so slightly. My foobs seemed not quite so cutely shaped, a little smashed and didn’t seem to stick out quite as far as with my other regular bras. And frankly, it ticked me off a little bit. When trying on bras, I am not wearing a top and after trying on so many, it seemed like a victory to find anything that came close to fitting. Without having weird seams. And it was super comfortable which was a major coup.  I tried it on for the girl and put my top back on and asked her if she noticed anything different in the foobial area. And she said they seemed a little smaller. BUMMER. I guess it’s not enough that I went from a D in real life to a B (which was my choice, I know), but now to be told they seem even smaller. It was almost too much to take. I did show and tell with the hubs last night and he couldn’t tell. But then again, the house could be sitting in smoldering ashes and he still wouldn’t be sure if he smelled smoke. He’s not always very perceptive, if ya know what I mean. But it’s bought and it’s mine, so that’s that. I know I will wear it and probably be ok with it. But I am just a little bummed about the fit.

And with the bra, I also bought a cami that is pretty cool. My foobs fit inside it so all I have are the two spaghetti straps on my shoulders. It’s very freeing to wear it. The scoop of the neck is bordering on being in the danger zone, but I finally decided to heck with it, I am just going to wear it. If some weird perv is so concerned with my anatomy, then he needs a lesson in eyes up here, eyes up here. So I went with it. I hope I am happy with it when I actually wear it, ya know…out.

So I am a bit pouty about this whole bra thing. This whole fiasco has just gotten under my skin a little bit.

No real point or fancy bow tie of an end to this post. I just needed to fuss. Thanks for listening. : )

Sheer Miracle

In my quest to find healthier products, I’m always on the hunt for replacements for this or that. One of the things I finally decided I wanted to replace was my make-up. I’ve always been a pretty basic girl…Almay or Neutrogena. Simple drug store stuff. But when I read the label, it was loaded with chemicals and things I couldn’t pronounce. And a few things I could pronounce, I knew were bad for me.

I had pretty much just decided I’d never wear make-up again. There are many days that I felt fine just being a natural, sometimes not so fresh-faced looking girl. But then there are the other days, that I want to feel and look a little more put together that made my heart pang a little bit as I brushed past my old make-up basket shoved into a corner in the closet.

So I started researching and found a company called Sheer Miracle. (this is not a sponsored post…they have no idea who I am…just sharing something I like) And now, back to the show…I really liked that it wasn’t loaded with a bunch of stuff and it seemed healthier to use than many similar products I’ve read about. And the prices were pretty reasonable too, which was a great bonus.

So I ordered a sample kit, which I love the idea of, because I could order 4 sample sized products (a two weeks supply if used every day) for less than $10 including free shipping. Score.

I finally got them in the mail last week. In the interest of full disclosure, there was a mix-up on the order and I originally got somebody else’s order in the mail. I had to email them to get it straightened out and then there was another mix-up and my replacements were never shipped so I had to email them again, and promptly after that email, my stuff came. I was beginning to think it would be a sheer miracle if I ever got my stuff, but it did come. And I’m so thankful.

I love this stuff. I bought the equivalent to base, powder, under eye correction and blush. They had several options in those four categories, but no options for other things like eye shadow, but you can order samples of those very cheaply. I plan to do that soon.  And then make a ‘real’ order for regular sized pots of everything.

I have used it one time so far. I’ve never worn mineral make-up before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. But I read a little bit and then started playing. It only takes a tiny bit to get decent coverage. After applying a thin coat of the ‘base’, I topped that with a very thin layer of the HD powder…the white stuff. It really gives my face a bit of an air brushed look. Very soft looking. (I read that if you get too much it can go into ‘white face’ but I didn’t have that problem). I also used the pink under eye corrector (before the base and HD). It came with instructions which I followed. And got good results covering up the dark under my eyes. And the blush is a very pretty shade…again with the  ‘just a tad’ routine. A little goes a long way. But I came away looking fresh and natural but not overly glammed. I am loving this product. I compared the prices of this with other mineral make-ups and found it’s much less expensive. Will definitely be ordering more.

in a funk

So last night, I cried myself to sleep. And I don’t even know why.

As I mentioned in my last post, we would really like to just get in the van and GO. Get out of here and be somewhere else and enjoy some down time. But as I said, we have no idea where we would like to go. It’s a bummer.

But I think the real crux of it is some sort of strange let down reflex after going through dealing with those little bumps. And not really knowing what was going on there for a little bit. Both my doctors were confident that I was dealing with scar tissue. But in the end, both of them felt it best to get them removed. But it was a lot of here there and everywhere and then surgery…very minor, but still surgery…and then sitting in the recovery room and hearing my nurse tell somebody that she’s the girl that ‘just’ had some scar tissue removed. THAT is how I found out that all was well. Weird. Yes, I had asked for my husband, but I was feeling a little weird so they waited for me to feel a little better to let him come in. I hate that.

So maybe that is why I cried myself to sleep. Just a release from everything that has happened. But I know there is a frustrated-ness too. We have had a pretty bummer few months and now things are good. And yet our routine is just so monotonous at times. And unlike my sweet friend Karen who commented that summer has not arrived in the pacific northwest, there is no doubt that summer has arrived here. It’s been over a hundred for the last several days. Just going outside takes my breath away and makes my skin burn. So the thought of a ‘stay-cation’ kind of makes me laugh. Or melt.

I know that our trip to Tennessee last year was a gift. It was beautiful there and we thoroughly enjoyed the low key trip (but we don’t want to go back). It was a great trip to have fresh on my memory as we dove into dealing with my health for a bit. And now I guess I’m just searching for the next gift after the past few months of rough stuff we’ve dealt with. A fitting bookend to all that has happened, if you will.

almost full time fashion accessory

I thought I’d update you all on the foobs (fake boobs). Things are going better, thankfully. Just about the time I thought wearing them for any length of time was a lost cause, I turned the corner.

For the most part, I am now finally (it seems to me) able to wear my foobs somewhat predictably. I’ve worn them ‘full time’ over the last couple of weeks. There are days that I take them off before I make dinner, but for the most part I’m making it the whole day. Sometimes I take most of Sunday off too, just to give my chest a rest. I think that has helped me a good bit too. 

I am also able to work out with them on. I am so thankful for this, because it means I don’t have to juggle putting them on then taking them off every time I turn around. I can just wear them.

One day though, I didn’t wear them because I was doing some heavy duty house cleaning and I just didn’t want to push it. And there wasn’t a reason why I had to wear them to clean house. So I didn’t.

But then it came time for me to go walk and I had to decide if I wanted to put them on to go walk, since I now can walk (hard) in them. But I decided not to do that. I rarely see anybody other than the sweet lady that checks me in, and she knows ‘the scoop’. So who am I trying to impress here, ya know?!

I am still struggling to find clothes to accommodate my new restrictions. The tank top I’m wearing in this post is a new purchase. It was on clearance from Lands End (score!) and I thought it would work so well. But since that top is technically a shell and not a true tank top, the fabric is thinner, and while that is great for the summer heat, it’s not so great for laying flat. So as the day wears on, the top rim of the top folds over and puckers in weird ways. While sitting in a restaurant booth, I’ve asked hubs to tell me what he can see, if anything. And a few times in the Lands End tops, he has reported that he could see what we call ‘dips’ which is where my anatomy sinks in rather than protrudes. I bought some more tank tops today…super cheap ones…but they are cut a slight bit higher, and they seem to be better at staying ‘put’.

But this whole thing has left me with many things to ponder. I know of women that wouldn’t wear a tank top at all since given just the exact wrong angle and circumstance, their bra and or foob would show, since it peaks out of the side edges of the bra. Do I try to keep that 100% covered, and struggle that much harder to find clothes that ‘work’. Or do I do the best I can, trying of course, to keep it to a bare minimum of incidences where something ‘weird’ might be seen. I can see points on both sides of the fence. For now, I am opting for the later. I am not going to be sooo obsessed that somebody might see in my arm hole or down my shirt at just the wrong time etc, that I end up in turtle necks all the time. Having said that, I am very conscious of any situation that could show something I don’t want to show…leaning down to pick things up, waiters being ‘over’ me and armholes being high enough…so that I am as modest as possible.

Of course, it would be easier if our summers weren’t so hot that it feels like the surface of the sun. : )

freaky Friday

I was doing fine this morning. Minding my own business and everything.
Just finished the second ‘leg’ of my twice weekly grocery store journey.
First Walmart, for the boring stuff…I think I had a bathroom rug on my list this week along with tortillas and assorted other odds and ends.
And then I headed to our local health food store to load up on all the goodies I can get there. The most ‘exotic’ thing on my list today was peppermint essential oil to make lip balm. Along with lots of veggies and a bottle of vitamins.
Easy peasy….I do this all the time. So I got everything loaded in and headed home and I all of the sudden noticed this buzzing sound coming from inside the van. It totally freaked me out! I couldn’t see it but I could hear it. Loud and clear.
And then I saw it…crawling on the dashboard. A giant bee! With a stinger and everything. OHMIGOSHOHMIGOSHOHMIGOSH!!!
I quickly pulled into a parking lot and flew hopped out of my van just as the silly thing landed on my leg. Thankfully I was able to brush him off before he ‘got’ me.
So I hopped back in my van, huffing and puffing from all the crazy. And made my way home.
This post could have alternately been titled unusual ways to get my cardio in. Cuz I totally did.
This counts, right?

a chance meeting

A while back during my hiatus here I went on a little trip. I don’t like to fly. I used to but not so much anymore.

But I flew.

I found my seat and waited for the rest of the people to find their seats. I sweet lady sat down next to me. 

I’m so thankful.

Her name is Natalie. (see her comments on this and this post)  Gasp…yes I gave her the url to my blog…first IRL person EVER.  Anyway, we chatted much along the trip. She is recovering from a surgery that has left her arm in a sling and I am recovering as well. So we bonded over our surgeries and struggles to get better.

I gave her gum and offered to help fasten her seatbelt and get things out of her bag.

But she offered up prayer for me on the plane before it landed. Such a treasure. Makes my gum and simple assistance seem like a pretty small gift.  But I know we were both in the right place at the right time. I’m so thankful we had more to bond over than the things going on with our bodies.

So if you’re reading Natalie…thanks for befriending a girl on a plane and being such an encouragement to me during an unsure time.

Hope you are well, sweet new friend.

Hugs and love! : )