perspective

There has been a lot going on lately at Chateau Notes. Life happens. And sometimes it is messy and hard. (we are fine...just normal stuff)

Recently we purchased new floors. Buy buy Bye-bye carpet and hello looks like wood vinyl planks. (Cali Bamboo LVP). I chose Cali because they are a pretty clean product with ultra low VOCs and that is important to me. But what an ordeal!

We spent about two weeks moving as much as we could to our dining room and kitchen..and even our extra bathtub..stack stack stack. It was crazy. But our installer called us dream clients because we did so much of the work for him. :) They ripped out all the old carpet..dust dust dust flying everywhere. GROSS. And they got busy installing our new floors. It took three days. We stayed two nights in a hotel.

And then we came home to a dusty dirty post reno MESS. But I couldn't get the floors looking clean. Major struggle bus. I think I figured out my problem today and used a different cleaner and they seem much prettier today..but its cloudy and dark out and I need a sunny day to know for sure.

But this whole thing along with a few other things going on, had me flaring with my breathing problems and just generally annoyed at life. Sometimes the everyday funk just gets me down, ya know?

I was scrolling and generally feeling sorry for myself when I stumbled upon a video from a local news personality. I knew she had breast cancer just three years ago. And then had a handful of 'state of the art' surgeries to rebuild her chest. Her latest video was announcing that she had metastatic breast cancer.  Her clock is ticking.

Y'all.

I had to stop and pray. And thank God that I feel great and can do things like left heavy furniture and boxes and that I'm dealing with everyday life..and not dealing with mortality.

It's hard to get flustered about smudges on floors when I could be fighting even harder for my life than I currently do.

So today I mopped my floors..again...with a new perspective. And Hope that goes beyond a better floor cleaner. 

Romans 15:13 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (italics mine)

on contentment

A few years back we thought about selling our house. But we never found something we liked. And then I got sick. So yeah..that was that.

Fast forward some years and we are thinking about it again. We need a little more space. Our daughter, while grown, isn't going anywhere. And we could use a tad more space.

I think about what I want style wise and I get overwhelmed. I look at my own house and begin to dream about all the ways I could change it.

But to what?

I started following a lot of home decor instagrammers. It just kinda happened. I followed Layla at The Lettered Cottage forever as a blogger and then followed her on insta. I guess she was the 'gateway drug' to many more decor accounts. But the funny thing is, their houses are all but identical. I'm not saying they are exactly alike, because they certainly aren't. But they have some serious similarities. And then I look around at my house, not looking a lick like any of them.

And I get restless.

My walls aren't gray. My cabinets aren't painted white. I don't have dark hardwood floors. I don't have hardwood floors at all. I don't have white slip covers. I don't have neutral, muted, soothing tones all over my house. And it was really getting to me. I kept thinking about going for 'the fixer upper look'.

But then I remembered what I have been saying for a long time about Fixer Upper...even though I totally adore Chip and Joanna, there is no way I could live in a black and white house. I need more color than a basket of apples or a vase of flowers. That is not a pop of color in my world.

So I am learning to look around my house and be content with I see. To be thankful for our house. It isn't photo ready or all grays and whites. It isn't 'all of the things', at all. But it is us. It has 'friendly yellow'..yes thats the actual color name..walls. And I love them. I have a dark red chenille couch..and I love it. I have simple antiques and things I have collected over time that mean so much to me. I made the curtains in my living areas..deep red with flowers and red, yellow, green and blue checks too. And I love those too.

I am so thankful that I have taken a pause from drooling over all things insta and looked around my own house and realized I don't need gray walls and white cabinets and wood floors and all of the things, for my house to be 'just so'.

It already is. Because it's mine and it was lovingly curated over many years. And I don't plan on changing it anytime soon. And that's good.

Be content today, friends. :)

the cat we adopted twice

This has been in my drafts folder since May of last year.  This is the beginning of the story about us adopting a nightmare kitty. In my next post, I will let you know how the 'story' resolved. Hold on to your hats..its gonna be a bumpy ride.

********
There is a new kitty boy in our lives. It's been a rocky start. Ok, sometimes it just feels rocky all the time.

I had been scouring the Petfinder app starting about two weeks after Annabelle passed. Too soon..I know (now). But anyway, this one "little" cat stood out to me every time I searched. I secretly hoped one day I would search and not find him because I had this bizarre draw to  him and I hoped someone else would get him. I know that sounds weird. It was weird. So one day I went to the shelter and he was there. His shelter name was Lance. And he was so so affectionate. And for some reason the people at the shelter thought he had been declawed on all four. And yet he didn't seem to have a mean bone in his body. So I felt like he was too good to be true and called the hubby and finally decided to bring him home.

Immediately upon getting him home we realized he did indeed have claws. I wasn't quite ready for that. So I called the shelter and they said I could bring him back. It was late and they were closing so I planned to take him back immediately the very next morning. He stayed in our bathroom. I encouraged our daughter not to get too attached to him because 'he was leaving'. I would go in and take care of him..and cry..because he was super cute and showed a lot of affection. Hubs thought he was 'too big'. So his fate was sealed. I took him back.

And I continued to think about him for the next two and a half weeks. The girl and I talked a lot about him. Hubs and I talked about him. In different lights of course. ; ) But I finally talked the hubs into trying again with him.

So one day I told the girl that after lunch we were "going to get him". She knew exactly what I meant. Y'all...he was an absolute terror. He was beyond crazy! It stressed me out so much that long before the week's end, we planned on returning him. But I never felt settled about the matter so it never happened. I also took him to the vet because we wanted to know just how much this tub of bricks weighed, because he felt like he weighed almost 20 pounds. 8.3. Whaaa?! He knows how to make himself feel heavy. Very weird. The vet told us that she expected him to weigh about 10  full grown. So the 'he is too big' argument went out the window...AB weighed 15. He currently weighs 10.5. ha. I think he's going to weigh a little more still.

He is extremely active. And playful. He was estimated to be about 8-9 months when we got him in May. One day he got so "playful" that he kind of went off the deep end and attacked me. I got two gashes in my ear! So we planned once again to send him back. Or better yet...I know..terrible thing to say..euthanize him because he's such a horrible and scary animal. Before you say anything..I know! But that never happened. I read a lot of books and talked to a lady I met on insta who is a behaviorist.  And we are taking more careful note of his affect before he goes nuts. And he is learning through some discipline not to go bonkers on me. (He did it today and he had not done it in quite a while. But it was less severe and he stopped much more readily). He's an active teenaged boy.

To be fair, he is quite affectionate..when he is hungry. Which is in the mornings before I get up. So I get some cuddle and purr time early in the morning. Sometimes he goes under the covers and suckles on my pajamas and purrs his brains out while I pet him. It's sweet..but kinda gross. He is super smart. He plays fetch. And he is very athletic. He can jump from our kitchen counter to on top of the upper cabinets. He can also jump from the floor TO THE TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR. No joke. It was crazy. He has only done that once..during one of his Tasmanian devil moments when he's just super charged. We are hoping he grows out the kitten stage sometime before we lose our marbles.

And that's how we adopted the same cat twice. We almost named him Ditto. But instead we named him Dudley.

going to the place to do the thing

***This is a rant...you've been warned. lol***

I have been getting phone calls from the funeral home that did Landon's 'stuff'.  It had always gone to the machine because I wasn't home. And I never called them back.

Well, a few days ago they caught me. Drats! Seems they have new owners now and they wanted me to come by and check on my paperwork and make sure their info is correct bla bla bla. I asked how long it was going to take and they assured me that if I didn't have any questions, it would not take very long. So I made the appointment at a time that I could squeeze it in 'just to run by there and get it done'. Whatever 'IT' was.

Well...I arrived for my appointment a few minutes late. I had to run by the vet to get some stuff for the cat (we think she has cancer..she's 14..it sucks but it is what it is..she's an old cat. Anyhoo..) I walked in the door and my eyes immediately went down the long corridor to the door we walked through to see our baby's little empty shell for the last times.

And lost it. Nice. : /

So I am quietly trying to pull it together, Gertrude and this older lady asked me why I was there and offered to escort me to a small room to wait. She was nice and is very good at handing out condolences so she pretty much insisted on giving me a hug while I am doing all the sucking it up I can get ahold of.

Well...I know..lots of well..a lady and a man came in. Double teamed. Fun. And they chatted a little bit about the plots we own bla bla bla. They also chatted me up about Landon and commented on his stone etc (honestly I was surprised they knew what was on it!)  and I think that helped them have an idea of what all we went through before they ever talked to me. It was sweet but hard talking to them. But really their intent for about 99 percent of the visit was pre-need. Y'all. I was so not prepared for any of that. I wish they had been more honest about their entire intent for the visit. But I guess if they did that, they would have very few people go through the door. But UGH. It took an hour!

So much info and so much to think about. On top of the emotions and the every day stress of being in remission. I didn't say a word about that..they would have been all over it and had me dead and in the ground before I could sign my name. LOL

I finally made it home around 2pm and dumped some veggies and fruit in the Vitamix and dumped a smoothie in an old Nutribullet cup with a lid and ran out the door to pick up someone.

Some days adulting is just hard. 

***end of rant..thank you for listening, my friends!***

snow day

It’s snowing. I think a list is in order today.

1. Hubs had a wreck a few miles from home on the way to work this morning. (he’s fine!)

2. He called to tell me.

3. Calls not long after he leaves the house are NEVER a good sign.

4. But the fact that I was talking to him was a start in knowing that at least HE was ok.

5. It was only a fender bender. But he’s been on the phone all morning getting things in order to get it fixed.

6. He ended up driving the girl to school…and will pick her up when it’s over later this morning.

7. I was supposed to go to the grocery store this morning…but we can make it. I’ve got enough fresh stuff to get us by.

8. I am making a vegan broccoli ‘cheese’ soup for lunch. (for the girl and I..he will likely have a PB&J)  I made it for myself the other day to test out the recipe and it was soo good. Surprisingly. Pinterest is a wonder, that’s all I can say.

9. I’m not a winter girl. I’m ready to start shopping for real estate in Florida for my ‘winter home’. And I guess I can shop for my summer home in Colorado while I’m at it. ; )

10. When I woke up this morning, I checked WeatherBug on my iPod and it said our ‘feels like’ temp was –1. All I could think of was..what the hey??? This is Texas. It’s not supposed to get ‘minus’ anything here.

Dear Winter…I’m done.

Bush 43

So after being a Debbie Downer in my last post, I thought I would update again and tell you about the great day we had the day after Christmas. We loaded up the car and headed to Dallas to George W. Bush’s Library and Museum.

And it did not disappoint.

I had the idea to make this post because it was such a fun day but when I looked through my pics, I realized I didn’t take very many. I don’t know what was wrong with me. It was a teensy bit crowded and sometimes that makes it hard to take pics of just what you want..without lots of other people ‘ruining’ the pic. I really regret not taking pics of a single one of Laura’s beautiful gowns. Trust me..stunning! She is such a classy lady though, she could wear a feed sack and make it look like couture.

One of the big reasons I wanted to go at Christmas was because of the special displays during the holiday. This is the tree filled with ornaments that hung in the White House… I’m thinking 2002. The year the theme was ‘home for the holidays’. The tree was beautiful.

A little snippet up close.

 

Mt Vernon. I took at pic of that one because we’ve visited that one, so it felt a bit more familiar than the other homes. They were all beautiful.

I especially loved this quote. Sadly the America that so many people have fought and died for seems to be slipping away. This line of thinking is unheard of in today’s White House. (stepping down from soap box now)

There is a walk through replica of the oval office. It was packed with people (walking around the edges of the room is allowed) so it was impossible to get a good pic. So this is all I got…

See what I mean.

They had a photographer taking pics of people sitting at the desk. My girl and her boyfriend got pics together there. So I’ve got that. : )

The ceiling.

We had a great day. It was beautiful out that day and we enjoyed our visit. Highly recommend it if you visit Big D. : )

And now for something completely different. This is the girl opening her Christmas presents. Christmas before last I made ‘hot dog’ pillowcases for several of her friends, but just made one for her from scraps I already had in my sewing box. It was cute but it wasn’t something I picked just for her. And I kinda felt like I owed her one since I did it for everybody she knows. So I found some cute and happy kitty fabric and made this for her. Since she’s a teen and sleeps like…A LOT…I was able to make this right under her nose without her being aware of it. : ) It was a fun surprise for her.

Have a great day, y’all. : )

in my rear view mirror

So thankful to be on the back side of the holidays. I am always glad when the tree and all the decorations are put away and with it, all the sadness and unfulfilled expectations of ‘the perfect holiday’ can go too.

I lost my mom a few months before Christmas, a few weeks after we found out Bub wasn’t going to make it. That was a somber holiday. We tried to be festive. We tried to keep things exactly the same. We picked out ornaments with each kid just like always. But we had Bub pose with his, because we knew it would go into the attic and the next time we pulled it out, he would be gone. It was hard to muddle through and not behave like all these things were going on. But we tried our best and I think we did ok.

We lost him in April, as most of you know.

So along with the thankfulness that Christmas with all it’s mixed emotions is behind, comes the little ache in my heart, knowing that spring is just around the corner. I love spring. And yet it’s when we lost our little fella. Everything is a mix these days. Joy to the world along with knowing my mom (and now dad too) and my little Bub are with Him for the holiday and every day.

A while back I had an epiphany. When I was growing up, Christmas was perfect and wonderful and my favorite time of the year. Because my parents made it so, while they missed long since gone family they remember from long ago. I don’t know why that realization was comforting (but sad) to me, but it was. It sort of clicked with me that they experienced the same things…love and loss and feeling like it’s not quite right. It’s not new. It’s been going on for generations.

And so it goes…

some stress

Last week was a super stressful week. Last weekend, I had been noticing that the cat wasn’t eating very well. Monday I took her to the vet. She did blood work on her and I got the results Tuesday.

She’s in kidney failure. Y’all, I cried and cried. I know she’s a pistol, but I love her, as crazy as that sounds.

So we were in and out of the clinic last week giving her fluids and some new meds and foods and we’re hoping she turns a corner. It’s possible she can sort of snap out of this and have some good months and be maintained for a time. We even learned how to give her fluids here at home after getting a couple of lessons from the vet’s office. Yesterday I’m thankful to say, we were able to do it here at home instead of having to load her up and take her somewhere. Hoping we are successful again today.

Been private messaging my cousin (who is an emergency vet, but not AB’s vet) to get advice over the weekend as we keep watching her. She got a push of antibiotics in her fluids on Friday and she’s hardly eaten since. Ugh. Not sure if it’s the antibiotics or something else, but her not eating is worrisome.

We will recheck her levels in another week or so after (hopefully) doing fluids every day and see where things are. We are hoping she’s bounced back a bit and her kidneys start doing better, which is possible. If they aren’t, then we will be having to explore…ya know. And that makes all of us very sad to think about.

And Wednesday I had an onc appointment right in the smack middle of everything else. I had to have a bone density test before my appointment. And I found out Wednesday that I am in the beginning stages of osteoporosis…fancy word for it is something like osteopenia or something like that. So I will be having to order something called Grow Bone from Amazon which is cheapest, because it’s pretty expensive stuff. And take it for a year. Sigh….

I just gave the kitty some wet food, which she usually doesn’t really care for…and she’s been in there licking at it, so I hope she’s making a bit of a dent in it. Unfortunately it doesn’t have any of her “sprinkles” (meds we now have to add to her food because of her kidneys) because she won’t eat the wet food WITH sprinkles. Bleh…it’s never easy.

Hoping things turn around for our kitty. We are all pretty sad right now.

Both these girls have aged a bit since this was taken, but it’s still one of my favorite pics of them together. : )

The summer vacation that almost wasn’t.

So this year we kept looking at the calendar and shrugging. What do you want to do? I dunno. Where do you want to go? I dunno. 

And then finally we just said well, are we or aren’t we? And then we quickly made some reservations at an extended stay hotel in Colorado Springs one weekend and headed out the very next. I think that is a record even for us. And we planned our first Disney trip in something like three weeks. So yeah…

So Saturday the 27th of July, we headed out. Made the trip in a day. Not that bad. This year we are driving a new car (a CRV) and last year we had van troubles in Amarillo (window mechanism broke and window wouldn’t stay up, so we lost about an hour while hubs ran the van over to the dealer to get the window dealie fixed). Thankfully no such problems this year and we made it there uneventfully. Yay.

So Sunday we got up and ‘hit it’, but it was a little tricky..it was foggy and rainy. I was so happy for the Springs because I know they need rain so badly to keep the threat of fires down, but a bummer for us since we were only going to be there four days. So we made the best of things and changed what little plans we had and went to Cave of the Winds first thing. Y’all, it was so foggy, it was nuts. We weren’t sure where to walk after we parked the car because we couldn’t see that far ahead…and we’ve been there before.

This was our ‘view’ over a little overlook porch in the gift shop. Is this all a dream..did we accidentally go to the Smokies? Crazy, I tell ya.

Getting in the last text before going underground.

After the cave, we went into Manitou Springs and found some lunch. I had researched before we left, so I had an idea in mind. We ate at the Stagecoach Inn and it was a super cute place to have lunch.

And yummy. I had a bison burger. And it was good. : ) After lunch it was still raining, so we piddled around in the Penny Arcade for a little while before continuing on with our day. {the arcade was super fun for nerds, I on the other hand, went to a nearby shop}

The weather was still gloom and doom so we went to the Air Force Academy. And walked around outside. {I don’t think we thought that one through very well.} I have been going to the AFA since I was very young  but never realized there was a Catholic, Jewish and one other (Hindu maybe?) chapel below the Protestant one up top. So we checked them all out. Interesting.

And on the way back to the car, a warning came over the loud speaker to seek cover because of the weather. Rain was a frequent theme all week. : /

Monday morning we rode the Cog Railway up Pikes Peak. The weather held out for us thankfully. It was still pretty chilly at the bottom so that meant it was downright COLD at the top. {it averages 30 degrees cooler at the top than the base} Before we knew it, it was time to go back down the mountain. Such pretty views from the cog and from the top. I was so thankful the weather held out for us so we could see.

Stinkin’ gorgeous!

By the time we came off the mountain, we were starving. So we got some lunch and went to Seven Falls. I’ve gone to there since I was three years old. It is chipmunk INSANITY! So many and so cute. And so bold.

After many snapshots of these cute little guys, we headed up the gazillion {224} stairs to the top of the waterfall.

And then it rained. And we huddled under an umbrella and waited for it to pass. Thankfully it did. And then we came down. Crazy.

And then we went to Helen Hunt Falls…another one I’ve been visiting since before I can remember. Smaller…and free.

They have hummingbirds. LOTS of them.

I spent a good amount of time trying to take pics of them. They are crazy zippy…zooming all over the place. So fun to watch.

And then we stopped by Garden of the Gods and walked around. Something else I’ve been doing since I was 3. : ) It was a nice walk.

And then Tuesday, we took a day trip to Denver. I will start this by saying NEVER AGAIN. Traffic is horrid there. I’m glad went. We had a nice day, but I don’t desire to go back. And I could smack myself for ever thinking I would like to take an entire vacation in that crazy city. Just too hectic. But we did enjoy our day. : ) Just not the traffic.

We stopped by the state capitol. This was a major disappointment to us and we didn’t waste any time moving on. First off, the dome is being remodeled, so it was covered. And very dark inside. And secondly, there just isn’t all that much history to tell about inside. I guess I’m spoiled by Texas’ rich and varied history and this just left us a little flat. We decided to take the guided tour, but it was just painful. The girl was so sweet but she had a very VERY heavy Spanish accent it was was almost impossible to make out what she was saying. And when we could…yawn. So we bugged out of there after about 5 minutes of the tour.

Stained glass is sort of a ‘thing’ in the capitol, but this picture was almost funny to us. It really reminded us of something that would be on the Haunted Mansion at Disney. Doesn’t it? {be honest} I’m not meaning to offend anyone, but our entire time there was less than stellar.

Stopped by a Catholic church. Very pretty architecture. Was so wishing we could have gone inside. But no.

Kinda neat, even though I’m not Catholic.

And they have a statue and everything…

Then we went to the Molly Brown House. It’s the home of the famous “Molly Brown”, a survivor of the Titanic. It was an interesting tour. We learned a lot about Mrs. Brown, including that she wasn’t named Molly, but Margaret. No one knows where the name Molly came from. But what a lady. And what a rich history the house has. Was a really neat tour. (no pics allowed inside though)

And THEN we went to Wings Over the Rockies, which is an air and space museum. And we all thought it was PRETTY COOL. And the biggest reason was because they have an X-Wing fighter on display (a scaled replica from Star Wars…and signed by all the stars…squeee!)

It was a huge hangar filled with so much history. So much to see! We were all geeking out.

And then Wednesday, we went to the Colorado Wolf and Wildlife Center in Divide. We visited this place after a tip from a friend and it did not disappoint. It was amazing! This is a sanctuary for wolves and foxes and also provides an educational opportunity there and out in the community. These were magnificent animals that are being cared for in such a great way. They have very LARGE enclosures, but our guide called them by name up to the fence to talk about them and feed them raw meat while she discussed them as we toured. Some of their stories aren’t for the faint of heart, but the staff there was very mindful of children without sugar coating their plight.

It was kind of funny..when the tour started, they all just started howling spontaneously which really surprised our guide. But we loved it! And then at the end, she led us in group howl to try to entice them to howl back. They finally did and it was incredible. My daughter loves wolves, and now I think I do too.

I noticed we were close to the Florissant Fossil Beds when we were at the wolf place, so we drove on further and spent a little bit of time there. I had packed a lunch for us that day since I knew we were going to be pressed for time and I didn’t want us wasting time figuring out meals, so we ate our lunch in the car, but it was comfortable and a yummy meal. After lunch, we hit the trails and saw the fossilized trees etc. A pretty walk but we didn’t stay long.

It was so pretty out there! : )

And then we went to Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. This will be my family’s second visit, but I visited several times as a kid and have been enjoying this zoo since I was 3. Love love love!

They  have quite an impressive herd of giraffes and I love visiting them. And they love to eat from your hands so they love you visiting them too. : ) She fed a giraffe, but it was so fast, I missed the shot. I was so bummed!

The views even from the zoo are lovely!

After visiting the zoo, we also did this.

 

There go my peeps…

Stairs, stairs, stairs…

The views from the top are amazing.

And that concludes our trip. We ate dinner(at Famous Daves…I loved it even though I couldn’t eat bbq. We actually ate there twice while we were there. YUM). We packed up our stuff and hit the bed, knowing we would drive the whole way home the next day. We were sitting on the couch in the hotel room (we stayed in a Residence Inn…love!) and all I could think about was not being ready to go home yet. We discussed staying another day and driving home on Friday. I almost jumped at it, but I knew the hubs wanted that extra day to rest from all the driving before he had to return to work. And I couldn’t really do that to him. So I agreed with our original plan and we headed home Thursday. It was a full, fast trip and we loved it. I so wish we could live there…I never tire of her beauty and long for it during the rest of the year until we can (hopefully) meet again.

It makes me incredibly sad that Manitou Springs has experienced a significant flood since we visited. I know I don’t live in Colorado but I’ve visited it more than most people and it makes me sad that my “state away from home” is experiencing so much right now.

a lack of wisdom

It’s been a rough week. My girl had her wisdom teeth out Tuesday. And it’s been as much fun as you’d think.

She’s been handling eating weird food and being in pain pretty well.

I noticed bruising yesterday.

She looks very chipmunky. If that’s a word. Well, even if it’s not. I made it up cuz it’s true. Chipmunky chipmunky chipmunky. : )

The first night, we both crashed on the sofa bed in the living room, so I’d know if she got up or was in pain.

But from then on, I let her sleep in her bed and *I* slept on the sofa bed so *I* could get up in the night and give her meds and not disturb the hubs. And after four nights of being up at all hours with her, I see even more clearly why young women are the ones to have babies, because I have been a zombie. I can’t even fathom the months and months I stumbled along hanging by a thread when my kids were babies. How did I do it?!

But since the Mr didn’t have to get up for work today, I decided to sleep in my real bed. Delightful I have to say. My sofa bed is ok, because I replaced the mattress with a much better one. But after a long night, it’s still a sofa bed. Clearly I was sleeping hard and having a little trouble remembering exactly where I was because…

…I woke up at 1am, popped my head up and said “what are you doing here?!” to the hubs. And then I got my bearings and said “oh yeah, I’M here” and giggled and went back to sleep. He has no memory of our little one sided chit chat in the wee hours.

But he got a kick out of it this morning.

Can’t decide who is lacking more wisdom. The girl…or me. 

And with a click of the mouse…

….she’s finished with high school.

No prom. No parties. No awards ceremonies. No cap and gown.

No whoopla whatsoever.

Just a little click of the mouse exactly like a zillion others, but this one carried with it her last assignment.

And that was that. Over. Done.

No bells or whistles or tickertape parade. We slipped into the void of being done with high school so quietly.

Very strange and surreal.

Friend’s daughters are going away to school…some as early as next week. Others in the fall.

The changes here feel just as drastic until I am reminded that I’m not leaving her miles and miles away. She will be going to a two year college about two miles from our house just to get the basics over. This will allow her get her bearings a bit and decide something she would like to ‘do’.

So there are changes. I guess ours just feel more subtle since she will come home to us every afternoon. Something we haven’t had since she was in 9th grade….the going and the coming home part.

Come fall, I will miss having her around all the time. But she’s growing up.

*long contemplative sigh…..*

Happy graduation, sweetie girl. : )

a week of days

This is ‘the’ week. The anniversary of the week we lost our Landon. But there is something unique this year. For the first time since we lost our little Bub 11 years ago, the days fall on the same days of the week as the year we lost him.

So Friday was remembered because we talked to his oncologist because he had been waking up at night in pain and he HAND DELIVERED TO OUR DOOR STEP a scrip for narcotics so we could go get in filled. And then we went to get in filled at a different pharmacy ( not just any pharmacy carries narcotics in liquids for kids) and both kids were running around acting crazy. We laughed and didn’t care. We knew his time of being with us was coming to an end, but even then we had no idea just how quickly it would actually come.

Then over the weekend he had more struggles. He felt decent so we did some ‘normal’ stuff. He wanted a pair of sunglasses, so we bought those for him. I cry every time I look at the pics of him lying on the couch smiling with those glasses on. On death’s door. But still trying to play and be a kid. (crying now just thinking about that)

Monday we went in to clinic to get him started on hospice. We had to wait forever in the waiting room and I was so angry I couldn’t see straight. Couldn’t the nurses and doctors just believe us that he wasn’t doing well and get the ball rolling without us coming in. (no)

Tuesday hospice came to get us started.  Fancy talk for coming to meet us. We continued to give liquid meds from his onc throughout the week because they didn’t know what to do with Landon and for some strange reason consulted ‘other sources’ instead of talking to his TWO oncs. (I was livid. I was also livid that hospice never contacted his oncs to let them know after he passed. Our sweet onc read it IN THE NEWSPAPER AND CALLED US.)

Thursday we finally got some relief in the form of a patch and some different oral meds…just in time for bed Thursday night. We put him to bed and he woke up in Jesus’ arms Friday morning. (I wrote more about this night here)

Friday we were numb. By 7 am the funeral home had come and gone and we began making phone calls. We went to Luby’s for lunch, but nobody was hungry so really we just pushed around some food on our plates. We had all lost our appetites from the events of the night and morning. By Friday afternoon, a friend came into town to do Landon’s service.

Saturday we planned everything at the funeral home and picked out a plot. In the pouring rain. Sunday was the viewing. Hubs and I went ahead to see him before we had to have it all together for the family viewing time. It was still raining. The power went out as we twisted the knob to enter his ‘room’. We waited on the power to come back on to proceed. Very strange. I remember not having any idea what to expect. In my mind he was tiny, but he was longer than I thought he was. I remember thinking he looked so big and yet so tiny at the same time. Something else nobody in their wildest imaginations can see in their mind’s eye…their little beloved one being laid to rest. Wanting to cherish the last time I would see his little face and his little hands holding on to one of his stuffed kitties and yet so strongly not wanting to remember him like this. But I do. *tears*

Monday was the burial and memorial service. It was beautiful and perfect and sweet.

All of these things were eleven years ago this week.

A week full of days that hold tremendous meaning and are special and break our hearts all at the same time. Little snippets that are forever etched on our memories…

So I will see you, my friends, on the other side. Please pray for us as we walk through this week in a strangely even more sobering way this year.

We miss you still, sweet boy. You would be so big. I can’t wrap my head around how much time has passed! Mommy and Daddy and Sister love you very much!

spring break in our rear view mirror

We all survived spring break. It was a pretty low key non-event around here. But we managed to squeeze in a little fun. : )

My girl turned 18. She had a small get together with her besties.

I made cupcakes. And there was no licking involved on my part. For the first time. Ever. And I didn’t eat one either. These aren’t the prettiest cupcakes but they are a recipe of my mom’s that this bunch seems to enjoy. So instead of a bundt cake, I made cupcakes. And I sent the leftovers home with everybody so they weren’t staring at me. Crisis averted. : )

One of the girls made her this pretty bookmark. This girl is a reader herself so it makes me smile that she gave my girl a bookmark for her birthday. It’s very pretty. Good job!

She could use it in Pride and Prejudice. She was having to read that for school. And this sort of book is not her thing really. (even though she finished reading it last night and ended up liking the ending, so it’s all good) But the girls also gave her this…

…which I think is a hoot. The light is awful because the flash is so obnoxious that I shot a lot of pics without it. : / But the book on the left is P&P and the book on the right is P&P and Zombies. Cracked us up! A fun little gift while she was trudging her way through the real thing. : )

They also did some things you can do now that you’re 18 kinda stuff. One of the things they did was a mock-wedding. This is the ‘bouquet’ being tossed. The girls made tissue paper flowers for fun and used these in their ‘wedding’. It was a hoot!

The party was fun. She had a great time getting together with the girls and I had fun planning it and listening to them laugh. : )

Also during spring break, my girl went for her driving test. Well, nerves got the best of her and she drove into a parking lot instead of making a right turn. And got so flustered, she didn’t do well on the rest of the test. She did not pass. (she went again a few days later and passed with flying colors, justsoyaknow) She was crushed and a little embarrassed but handled the situation with grace. I was thankful for her attitude and it was a learning time for her…even though she was disappointed at the time.

We drove to a podunk town near us to order her a class ring. It is one of the things about school she was missing and really wanted one. So we found a company that could make that happen even though she home schools. So that was a fun little outing.

On a funny note…we have had trouble with our potty flapper for ages. I can’t tell you how many we’ve gone through. But his time the hubs came home with something different.

Isn’t it cute? It’s kinda like being at a bed and breakfast every time I flush. Or not. ; )

My garden seems to be taking off. I have baby strawberries.

And the kale is getting bigger. And everything is really doing well and growing. And the squirrels are doing their best to dig it all up. Will be making a fence’y kinda deal pronto!

I had to take the cat to the vet Monday. She had a weird tummy. Come to find out she had lost THREE POUNDS. Gah. So the vet did a bunch of blood work on her and she’s got high thyroid. So we’re doing meds for that. She’s acting better but not eating as much now. I may end up trying to find something herbal for her if she doesn’t start eating soon. She is on antibiotics also which can cause her not to want to eat. The thyroid med doesn’t taste bad and it’s not hard to get it down her. But the antibiotic tastes bitter and she foams at the mouth with every dose. Which is gross, in case you didn’t know. ha. So it will be a long week or so til that’s over. Ugh. Poor kitty. Aaaand in a strange move I still don’t understand, she slug slobber onto my lip last night. Poor me. : p

Well I think that about covers all the major activities of spring break and beyond. Hope you are all doing well, my friends. : )

shorts thoughts on random stuff

We are finally getting a little cold snap. I think it was supposed to be around 32 this morning. A couple of days ago I was wearing shorts. Such is the way of fall and winter in Texas. I uncovered my arms this morning and noticed the chill in the house, but it wasn’t until I got up that the funny thought hit me. If I had nipples boobs, they would be pointy this morning. I was cold.

The other day I was shopping around for bras for my girl and I had a random thought. I hoped nobody asked if they could help me because I feared I would give them a minutes long diatribe about how *I* get my bras at the hospital because I’ve had a double mastectomy, thankyouverymuch. But of course, nobody actually helps in department stores these days, so I think I’m pretty safe.

The girl and I are both PMS’ing at the same time. I wonder if we should wear special tee shirts or post a flag out doors…or at least text the hubs to warn him.

Fun times…hope you have a great day! : )

semi-scrapbooking {quicker and easier way to get the job done}

The events of the past year have renewed my resolve to do some things. But maybe in a modified way. I have been a scrapbooker (Is that even a word? The squiggly line below it says it’s not a word, but I’m going with it!) since my girl was a baby. I went to a Creative Memories party and went on from there. But just like everybody else, I can’t keep up with how many pictures I need to scrapbook in the time I would like to spend on it.

Sometimes lately I just don’t have the mental energy to spend on it. But I would still like to record activities for posterity. (mainly at this point I just do vacations…right now I have three to scrap book..TN, FL and CO) And it can feel overwhelming with just those to tackle.

But this is where it gets interesting. I meet with a group of girls once a week. We share a meal and then do some sort of crafting. Most of the time it’s scrapbooking. One of the girls did a super big vacation and there were just too many photos to expect to do a layout for every. single. one. So she decided to do something sort of different. She bought the full page layout sleeves (12 by 12) and also bought the sleeves that hold six 4 by 6 photos per page. And this is where things started to stray from the cookie cutter every-page-is-a-full-spread scrapbooking that we all know (and love).  She did some full layouts on the big pages. And she also put her 4 by 6 photos in some sleeves and left some sleeves for journaling or ticket stubs or embellishments or whatever. What she ended up with was just as cute as a regular scrapbook, but it took a fraction of the time to complete, and she was able to include more photos and more stories. Sheer genius, if you ask me.

So I am learning to work this technique, semi-scrapbooking as I like to call it, into my scrapbooking routine. I think it will be a big help as I try to get more pictures in books while keeping my sanity and my patience somewhat intact. ; )

A full page ‘spread’ to introduce our time at Garden of the Gods…(definitely not my best work here, but you get the idea)

And then individual pics with a journaling slot left open…

I think you get the idea. Much easier and quicker. Not near as much cropping needed. But of course, you can still crop to highlight a certain photo and mount it on paper to make it stand out etc. The possibilities are endless. : ) Happy scrapping!

*I know we didn’t invent this..I’ve seen it in magazines, but for years I hunted for the special pages etc featured to pull this look off to no avail. Thankfully now these things are showing up more in stores and making it easier for us girls to git’r done. Hobby Lobby is my happy place! : )

I’m linking this post to Works for Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.

bluebonnets and grace

The other day, the hubs and I went for a walk along the city’s walk and bike trails. And this is what we saw…

..bluebonnets. Lots and lots of bluebonnets! They are the state flower and very much beloved.  It’s very common to see them in state parks and along the highway.

And in city parks too.

I just had to take pics. I love them so much!

Just so pretty.

Which brings me to my little bloggy makeover. I have to give a big shout out to (Suz who talked to) Dawn at Beyond Grace who made the header (Using one of my pics) and all the little label pics. They are so cute. I love pink but even I was getting tired of the brightness with my old design. This is very fresh, crisp and clean. I hope you like it as much as I do.

Thanks Dawn! : )