The holidays are coming. Every year around this time I begin to get a little sad. I haven't liked the holidays since I grew up. There is a lady I know at church and she and I talk about how we're both scrooges when it comes to November and December. So I know I'm not the only one.
I just get tired during this season. Everything is go go go. And I'm just not much of a go go go kinda girl. And everything points to 'the perfect family' and there is no such thing as 'the perfect family' and sometimes that is a struggle for me. I'll want things to be just a certain way and it will never be that way. And I remember when I was in high school and both my grandparents died on one side.. that just radically changed everything. And then years later my mother died. And right after that, Bub died. And it changed everything again. And the same happened on my husband's side as well. As the older generation died, it left the younger generations wondering what to do with themselves at times... not really knowing how to carry on the things of the past. And it just comes off feeling awkward and sad sometimes. I don't even really know how to explain it.
I just never look forward to this time of year. I guess I mean Christmas mostly when I say this.. but Thanksgiving is just weeks away, so I guess in my mind it's all coming. I go through the motions. We do all the decorating, shopping and cooking. We try to make it 'fun' for BooBoo. She loves it. This is all she's ever known it to be. But I am always secretly happy when Dec 26 rolls around and it's over. Gosh, that sounds sad, doesn't it? I don't mean for it to. This is just what's on my mind today. Boo's out of school today for a break and I just haven't felt like I had anything to post lately. I don't know if the holiday blues will cut my postings down or not. I certainly don't want to post how much I dislike the holidays and am counting the days til it's over every day til 12/26, ya know?
Anyhoo... like I said.. I pretty much just got nothin' today. Hope my posting mojo gets back soon. I think mojo is a blogging word.. I would never say that in real life. :-D
2 comments:
I don't like the holidays either. What is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Christ has completely lost its meaning. I don't like all the materialism either. A couple of times I have made paper chains that I tear one link off of each day . . . until December 26!
I think it's especially hard after a death in the family; it has been for me, too. Certain holidays may be harder than others. I'm sorry that you are feeling it so strongly today. God bless you and hold you in His loving arms.
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