We're trying to cut back on some things because of gas prices. I don't think my city daughter was cut out for this sort of thing. She likes her snacks to come from wrappers instead of from the oven. She likes instant gratification with everything she does. If we discuss getting something, she thinks we should get up and go NOW to get it.
Today we talked about making banana bread instead of the little packaged good thing with a long list of chemicals we can't pronounce....and at a tiny fraction of the price! She thought making the bread was fun. We've made it before, but she wasn't too interested in eating it. We were measuring and stirring and she asked me why I didn't just get out the mixer and get it done faster. I explained that my spatula was doing just fine and we'd get it done just fine. She was ok with that...especially since she knew she would get to lick it! Her favorite part.
I like that part too. But I was glad to let her do it.
There are so many simple, yet important things we take for granted in our instant society. She doesn't know what its like to stand next to her grandmother in the kitchen and casually talk about this and that. Or sit in the 'front room' and play dominoes or card games under the fan in the heat of the summer and just enjoy being together. Or gather fresh vegetables from the garden and eat them warm off the vine! Everything is so contrived and even shallow these days.
I wish I knew how to make our lives simpler... and less expensive. But its hard when you live in an instant society to sloooow down and bake the bread.. or gather the veggies.. or listen to your kid! We had some fun today. She gathered up most of the ingredients for me and did most of the talking... just about this and that. I measured and did most of the stirring. We slowed down for a little bit and connected.
It was nice. : )
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
toot toot to me!
I guess I'm gonna toot my own horn today! I've been playing with a computer scrap booking program in an effort to up the 'cute factor' on my blog! I liked the idea of what I thought it could look like when I named my blog...since I have collected mice and think they are the cutest things... but I was never happy with the cutey-ness of my header. So I'm working on that. I've never worked with this program before... although I OWNED it for a couple of years! So if you don't like it or think its a little too plain... remember I did it.. but if you think its turning out 'too cute'.. remember *I* did it! LOL Its been fun messing with it and I'm not locked into anything since its free to tinker! : )
I'm going for 'cute and simple'. I think I'm on the right track! : )
The title today is sort of an 'inside joke'. Bubba used to say that when he umm... tooted! I guess when you're three and four you just don't care about those kinda things yet! And then there's 'the boy factor'! Too funny!
I'm going for 'cute and simple'. I think I'm on the right track! : )
The title today is sort of an 'inside joke'. Bubba used to say that when he umm... tooted! I guess when you're three and four you just don't care about those kinda things yet! And then there's 'the boy factor'! Too funny!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
city girl
My girl is not ummm.. the outdoorsy type. I guess that's putting it mildly. She doesn't like to be outside because she says 'there is nature out there'. Well duh! She hates bugs or even the prospect of bugs. The bug project in seventh grade went well. LOL
Sometimes I realize she's missed out by being raised in the city and how she's missed out on a lot of the lessons and experiences I took for granted growing up.
We went to the farmer's market in our little suburb. She loves all things veggie and fruit and wanted some of evvvvverything! Thats great! I had to rein her in and remind her that we can come again on another day and get some more! She finally got ok with that and we proceeded through the store. Near the checkout was a display of corn... right off the plant! She took one look at it and said 'now, THAT is weird!'
Yep, she's a city girl! (poor kid!)
Sometimes I realize she's missed out by being raised in the city and how she's missed out on a lot of the lessons and experiences I took for granted growing up.
We went to the farmer's market in our little suburb. She loves all things veggie and fruit and wanted some of evvvvverything! Thats great! I had to rein her in and remind her that we can come again on another day and get some more! She finally got ok with that and we proceeded through the store. Near the checkout was a display of corn... right off the plant! She took one look at it and said 'now, THAT is weird!'
Yep, she's a city girl! (poor kid!)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
the unthinkable
In reading the news this morning I heard the unthinkable news about Steven Curtis Chapman's family and the loss of their youngest daughter in an accident involving one of their older children. I just about stopped breathing. So sad.
I kinda thought for a moment he should be immune. But none of us are immune. I know that.
I've seen the loss of a child first hand in our own home. I've seen it in friends that lost their daughter on the ski slopes in an accident.. one minute a lovely vacation and the next, CPR and paramedics to no avail. ugh. I've seen more families lose their kids due to cancer than I can count. Some personally and some through blogs etc. It never gets easy. I cry every time I hear about another one. My husband calls them my 'comedy websites' and thinks I'm nuts for putting myself through 'it' again. But I do.
But back to the Chapmans. We wonder about the where's and the why's of this. Where was God? Where was God's protection? Why, why, why??!! And yet, even as I read about this, I could see God at work! We see our purposes in life. Raising healthy kids. Doing what we want to do. And God going along for the ride.
But God sees something entirely different! He sees HIS purposes! He sees what He wants to do and what He wants to accomplish! And He goes about it in different ways than we would like sometimes! We get all warm and fuzzy when we see His hand at work in a far away, over and done with tragedy someplace else, but its harder when He's making His mark and bringing about His purposes in OUR lives. That one is harder. But I've seen it and lived it. Is it easy? Nope! Does it hurt? Very often, yes! But He was at work and He is at work in this. But WE need to pray! For them right now and for His will and purposes to be accomplished!
I kinda thought for a moment he should be immune. But none of us are immune. I know that.
I've seen the loss of a child first hand in our own home. I've seen it in friends that lost their daughter on the ski slopes in an accident.. one minute a lovely vacation and the next, CPR and paramedics to no avail. ugh. I've seen more families lose their kids due to cancer than I can count. Some personally and some through blogs etc. It never gets easy. I cry every time I hear about another one. My husband calls them my 'comedy websites' and thinks I'm nuts for putting myself through 'it' again. But I do.
But back to the Chapmans. We wonder about the where's and the why's of this. Where was God? Where was God's protection? Why, why, why??!! And yet, even as I read about this, I could see God at work! We see our purposes in life. Raising healthy kids. Doing what we want to do. And God going along for the ride.
But God sees something entirely different! He sees HIS purposes! He sees what He wants to do and what He wants to accomplish! And He goes about it in different ways than we would like sometimes! We get all warm and fuzzy when we see His hand at work in a far away, over and done with tragedy someplace else, but its harder when He's making His mark and bringing about His purposes in OUR lives. That one is harder. But I've seen it and lived it. Is it easy? Nope! Does it hurt? Very often, yes! But He was at work and He is at work in this. But WE need to pray! For them right now and for His will and purposes to be accomplished!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
mixed feelings
Well maybe not mixed feelings, as in, I can't decide one way or the other. But mixed as in, what we see as the good the bad. I have memories of so many things regarding my kids. Ordinary things like brushing their hair and helping them brush their teeth. Beside that is shaving Bubba's head and taking him to his first and only dental appointment before transplant. I have images and pictures of my kids napping in their beds cuddling their beanies and bonkies (blankies). I also have mental images of my son, lifeless, in the middle of the 'rabble' we called it.. all the beanies and bonkies he required each night to sleep in his bed. That image is etched on my brain. I can almost reach out and touch it sometimes. There are many images like that....listening to traffic at the graveside... How can you drive by like that.. my baby died??? on and on.
Those images live peacefully among the mundane thoughts of everyday life with my children. How can it be? I've read of so many others who are haunted by those same type images. I am so thankful those images are there... they remind me of who I am... where I've been and what I've lived through. I am thankful those images haven't broken me, in the sense of making me useless to my family or my surviving child. But they have broken my heart and made it more tender to the Father in a unique way. So I guess I am thankful for those mixed feelings. Life mingled with death. Joy with pain. Happiness and normalcy with the memory of 'another life' unlike this one.
And there will be 'Another Life' unlike this one ahead. Wow! : )
Those images live peacefully among the mundane thoughts of everyday life with my children. How can it be? I've read of so many others who are haunted by those same type images. I am so thankful those images are there... they remind me of who I am... where I've been and what I've lived through. I am thankful those images haven't broken me, in the sense of making me useless to my family or my surviving child. But they have broken my heart and made it more tender to the Father in a unique way. So I guess I am thankful for those mixed feelings. Life mingled with death. Joy with pain. Happiness and normalcy with the memory of 'another life' unlike this one.
And there will be 'Another Life' unlike this one ahead. Wow! : )
Thursday, May 15, 2008
unwelcome surprise
Well.... today 'took me back' to the diaper days. Remember when ... you'd go in to get your child out of the baby bed in the morning and something or other 'leaked' in the night and there was QUITE the mess all over the place? You were half asleep and your eyes could barely focus and yet you knew even before you could get a good look at it that this was one. big. mess! 'It' was everywhere! You just didn't want to touch it and you didn't have the time...or the stomach... but you had to do it anyway, of course, 'cause you're the mom! Remember that???
Well, the cat had a hairball on her little sleeping pillow bed last night. I used to think hairballs were these neat, tidy, DRY packages that would show up on the floor out of nowhere. and then we actually got a cat. I know better now. Poor kitty.
Maybe I need to teach her to use the official puke bucket. She would use it alright... to take a nap. dumb cat.
Well, the cat had a hairball on her little sleeping pillow bed last night. I used to think hairballs were these neat, tidy, DRY packages that would show up on the floor out of nowhere. and then we actually got a cat. I know better now. Poor kitty.
Maybe I need to teach her to use the official puke bucket. She would use it alright... to take a nap. dumb cat.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
burials
I read a story on FoxNews..national (!!!) about a boy in our area that died of an illness that is rarely fatal.
This afternoon is the memorial service. This morning it was very rainy and dark.. a very sad and gloomy day. I was so sad for this family when I thought about them having to sit at the cemetery in the dark, if the weather continued like that all day. That broke my heart. What could be a sadder picture, in more ways than one?! Well, Praise God, the sun is shining now. I had to run a small errand and noticed the sky is blue, the gentle breeze is blowing and its a gorgeous day out. It took me back...
....to another day when we buried our son. The weather had been very rainy that morning. We had wanted to bury him in the morning, but it couldn't be arranged, so we went with a 2pm service. I was so thankful for the delay. It became a gorgeous day. The sky was blue, the breezes gentle and the birds were singing. Sometimes I can't believe I was that aware of my surroundings that day. But I was! I was aware of God's Spirit blowing over me and pouring down on me during the burial service. It was and is a very special (and personal.. until blogging came along lol) thing to me! I am praying this grieving family will find a measure of God's Spirit today in the sun and the breeze as He warms and blows over them, too.
This afternoon is the memorial service. This morning it was very rainy and dark.. a very sad and gloomy day. I was so sad for this family when I thought about them having to sit at the cemetery in the dark, if the weather continued like that all day. That broke my heart. What could be a sadder picture, in more ways than one?! Well, Praise God, the sun is shining now. I had to run a small errand and noticed the sky is blue, the gentle breeze is blowing and its a gorgeous day out. It took me back...
....to another day when we buried our son. The weather had been very rainy that morning. We had wanted to bury him in the morning, but it couldn't be arranged, so we went with a 2pm service. I was so thankful for the delay. It became a gorgeous day. The sky was blue, the breezes gentle and the birds were singing. Sometimes I can't believe I was that aware of my surroundings that day. But I was! I was aware of God's Spirit blowing over me and pouring down on me during the burial service. It was and is a very special (and personal.. until blogging came along lol) thing to me! I am praying this grieving family will find a measure of God's Spirit today in the sun and the breeze as He warms and blows over them, too.
Monday, May 12, 2008
most mothers
I survived 'the big day'... Mothers Day. We didn't do much of anything special. The hubs and the Boo gave me a silly card with a cat on it. We went to Sunday School but not worship. I think I 'do' better without all the outside fussing over this day. There are always the inevitable corny poems, jokes etc regarding the day and I guess when I've grieved the loss of one of mine, I am just not in the mood for it sometimes. I know there are several mothers at my church who have lost little ones and sometimes I wonder how THEY feel about it all.
Sometimes I don't feel like most mothers...
Most mothers have never had to wait and pray for test results that could spell out the end of their child's life.
Most mothers have never had to shave their child's head because of chemo. Well.. I didn't do it. I made Daddyman do it. But I bought the shaver for the occasion.
Most mothers have never had to wear gloves to change a diaper or clean up after their child.
Most mothers have never had to wonder how long their child was going to live after being given 'the final diagnosis' of terminal.
Most mothers have never had to write a gravestone message for her family and the occasional stranger to read.
Most mothers don't have all their child's worldly belongings packed into some Rubbermaid crates in the closet, except for a few items in the china cabinet and family pictures scattered about.
I say all of that and yet it wasn't a sad day. It was just a day. And that's really all it is anyway. Another day. I am still the mom of two great kids, no matter what day it is. One of my kids can still give me hugs and cards.
The other one can't.
Sometimes I don't feel like most mothers...
Most mothers have never had to wait and pray for test results that could spell out the end of their child's life.
Most mothers have never had to shave their child's head because of chemo. Well.. I didn't do it. I made Daddyman do it. But I bought the shaver for the occasion.
Most mothers have never had to wear gloves to change a diaper or clean up after their child.
Most mothers have never had to wonder how long their child was going to live after being given 'the final diagnosis' of terminal.
Most mothers have never had to write a gravestone message for her family and the occasional stranger to read.
Most mothers don't have all their child's worldly belongings packed into some Rubbermaid crates in the closet, except for a few items in the china cabinet and family pictures scattered about.
I say all of that and yet it wasn't a sad day. It was just a day. And that's really all it is anyway. Another day. I am still the mom of two great kids, no matter what day it is. One of my kids can still give me hugs and cards.
The other one can't.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
sewing
I went to the fabric store the other day to get some things to make a skirt and some shorts. I tried the skirt pattern earlier and it fit so I was getting more fabric to make another skirt and some material to try out the shorts pattern enclosed in the same envelope. I figured out how much fabric I needed and told the lady who was cutting it out. In the course of our friendly conversation she tells me...
"I don't know how to sew and I've never seen a pattern before." (actually.. that's not a quote, but its close enough for you to get the gist of things) I just about died. I'm sure the expression on my face was priceless! LOL Remember.. she is the lady that measures and cuts the fabric at the craft store! whatever.
So... I am working on my shorts tonight. Its been weird. I haven't made shorts much and the pattern called for some crazy origami folding etc to get it to look like shorts toward the end. No instructions on that part. Finally figured that out. And I was holding them up for the Boo to see since she had been watching the metamorphosis take place. Her response?
"Oh wow! Those are big!" gee thanks. Happy Mother's Day to me!
"I don't know how to sew and I've never seen a pattern before." (actually.. that's not a quote, but its close enough for you to get the gist of things) I just about died. I'm sure the expression on my face was priceless! LOL Remember.. she is the lady that measures and cuts the fabric at the craft store! whatever.
So... I am working on my shorts tonight. Its been weird. I haven't made shorts much and the pattern called for some crazy origami folding etc to get it to look like shorts toward the end. No instructions on that part. Finally figured that out. And I was holding them up for the Boo to see since she had been watching the metamorphosis take place. Her response?
"Oh wow! Those are big!" gee thanks. Happy Mother's Day to me!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
and the beat goes on
We saw it at the hospital when the Boo had her little headache thing. Sick kids. I know what happens on every floor at the hospital and as the elevator passed each floor, I would think of what kind of sick kids were there. The hospital is always close to capacity. There can't be that many sick kids?! Oh yes, there are! Its something I know in the back of my mind all the time.
I got an email and found out another kid is sick. Its always happening. Another family is getting the awful news that will turn their world upside down. Another child losing the innocence and carefree nature of childhood and replacing it with scans, pokes, chemo and hospitals. I could go on and on with that train of thought, but I will spare us all from it. It's just sad.
And the beat goes on....
I got an email and found out another kid is sick. Its always happening. Another family is getting the awful news that will turn their world upside down. Another child losing the innocence and carefree nature of childhood and replacing it with scans, pokes, chemo and hospitals. I could go on and on with that train of thought, but I will spare us all from it. It's just sad.
And the beat goes on....
Saturday, May 3, 2008
the fabric store
I went to the fabric store last night. I was commenting to myself that I had not been in there in about a year as I walked in the door. I used to sew a lot, but I haven't in recent years. I was on the hunt for some fabric to make a skirt. I found the fabric, but I also found some CUTE kitty cat fabric and I just kept running my fingers over it. Darn Boo! She's growing up and no longer interested in wearing dresses with kitties on them. I used to make some of her simple summer dresses and yes, she did have one with kitties on it.
When she was six.
But not anymore. She would still think its cute, but then politely decline! I was standing there eyeing and fingering the fabric and telling myself to 'pull it together sister!' and move on... no kitty fabric! My little girl is growing up.
Of course, I was also checking out some real cute fabric for a July 4th themed skirt...one of them had stars and inside each one, it looked like little flags, and a little country looking. Soooo cute. And then I saw another similar fabric, but inside each star was a Peanuts character. I stared at that one for a long time. Sooo cute! Another 'pull it together woman!' moment! I finally decided it looked like pajamas and let it be.
I just bought one piece. Its blue and has large daisies on it. I've got white tops that will work with it, IF it fits when I made it. This fabric looks like a tablecloth.
I guess that's better than pajamas...especially if I plan on wearing it out in public... or to church. (nobody wears pajamas to church!)
When she was six.
But not anymore. She would still think its cute, but then politely decline! I was standing there eyeing and fingering the fabric and telling myself to 'pull it together sister!' and move on... no kitty fabric! My little girl is growing up.
Of course, I was also checking out some real cute fabric for a July 4th themed skirt...one of them had stars and inside each one, it looked like little flags, and a little country looking. Soooo cute. And then I saw another similar fabric, but inside each star was a Peanuts character. I stared at that one for a long time. Sooo cute! Another 'pull it together woman!' moment! I finally decided it looked like pajamas and let it be.
I just bought one piece. Its blue and has large daisies on it. I've got white tops that will work with it, IF it fits when I made it. This fabric looks like a tablecloth.
I guess that's better than pajamas...especially if I plan on wearing it out in public... or to church. (nobody wears pajamas to church!)
Friday, May 2, 2008
just like me
A hospital 'funny'.. if there is such a thing.
The Boo doesn't like toilets. Well maybe I should say she doesn't like LOUD toilets. And nowhere do they flush louder than the hospital! And given that she was garbed up with the lovely gown that 'opens in the back'.. how convenient... and dragging an IV pole along with her... it made a quick getaway almost impossible. She couldn't quite muster up her usual 'flying out of the potty like her hair's on fire' routine. So I helped her out. I let her escape from the awful potty room and then took care of it for her. She was ever so grateful every time.
She comes by this naturally. One of the many things she's inherited from her mother. Although I've learned to act like I'm NOT darting out quickly... I am in my heart. I still feel that odd feeling of the loud noise that makes me want to run away. I know.. she and I are BOTH nuts.
Like I said, she comes by it naturally. : )
The Boo doesn't like toilets. Well maybe I should say she doesn't like LOUD toilets. And nowhere do they flush louder than the hospital! And given that she was garbed up with the lovely gown that 'opens in the back'.. how convenient... and dragging an IV pole along with her... it made a quick getaway almost impossible. She couldn't quite muster up her usual 'flying out of the potty like her hair's on fire' routine. So I helped her out. I let her escape from the awful potty room and then took care of it for her. She was ever so grateful every time.
She comes by this naturally. One of the many things she's inherited from her mother. Although I've learned to act like I'm NOT darting out quickly... I am in my heart. I still feel that odd feeling of the loud noise that makes me want to run away. I know.. she and I are BOTH nuts.
Like I said, she comes by it naturally. : )
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