And then there was today. I talked to a friend at church that I've known since before Bub got sick. She was remembering that these are special days for us. Strangely we were chatting as some little kids were scurrying by. Including a little boy or two. I just kinda smiled at her and out of nowhere said he's always four to me.
And that's so true. And at the same time, so odd.
He never ages in my mind. Oh I can do the math and figure out how old he would be... a tween right now. But in my mind's eye, he's always four. Sometimes I see little boys that have a particular quality of Bub. That happened at Disney at a bus stop and the first night at the fireworks. And it's happened other times too. And it pricks my heart. Sometimes it brings a smile. Other times tears.
But no matter what, he's always four.
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On a side note, today was a good day. Boo was gone all day at a church function. We chatted about Bub a little bit, but that was all. I thought about asking if he wanted to go to the cemetery, but it's chilly and very windy and I hate going when it's like that. So we just spent the day quietly at home. And that's ok.
6 comments:
Thinking of you today. Sending hugs.
Sending you warm hugs. Though I never met Bub, his picture with Miss Boo is very sweet, and that's how I imagine him. God bless you and your family. I'm glad it was a good day.
What sweet words Kay. Thinking of you too...hoping you can have some good memories of your little boy.
Take care, suz
Hugs. I can relate to how you feel in so many ways.
I'm so sorry I missed it this weekend. I knew it was coming up.
*sigh*
The anniversaries are just hard.
And I just think... what a precious age to remember. Four.
Love you, friend.
i have read and re-read your posts... they have brought tears to my heart... but also a little healing. my nephew was just shy of his 3rd birthday when he slipped out of the house and made his way next door to a pool and drown... it will be nine years next week. but to me, he is still that little wild boy who ran and ran with my son.
you words are so full of love and honesty... your journey filled with pain, and peace along the way. it is nothing i could possibly imagine the depth of, but you have been in my prayers this week.
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