what kind of fool do I want to be?

Today I heard someone say something.  It was one of those things that made me run for a pen and a scrap of paper.  It made me think hard thoughts I don’t like to think about myself.  It was a call to prayer.  A certain prayer. A pointed to prayer. And where is it pointing to? 

Help me see the fool in me.

It’s pointed to me.

Sometimes I like to see prayers pointed at other people.  Other people’s flaws. Other people’s problems. Other people’s lack of whatever.  That’s a lot easier. Until problems come, and then it’s glaringly obvious that those words were meant for me. 

I don’t always like it when the words are pointed at my heart.  They’re sharp and cut away at the me in me. Sometimes I fight it because it hurts.  Or I’m afraid. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed for people to just let go (of themselves) because I knew the Father would catch them and it would be so beautiful and such a delight,  not just for me to watch, but for them, as they would have been able to stop holding on to themselves and their thoughts and ideas and just let go.  But what holds us/me back?  Me.  The foolish me.  The one that thinks I know what is right. Even though I know I don’t. 

Some people think it’s foolish to spend time with God.  There are plenty of other things I could be doing, after all.  Foolish to be perceived as weak…in need of a Savior.. Aren’t we all in need?  So maybe there are two kinds of fools.  What kind of fool do I want to be?