The Boo has been begging us to let her use some place on the net that lets you kind of chat and be anonymous etc...NOT myspace etc... and we finally let her do it after 'checking it out' and being assured that language was ok etc. Well... it didn't take long for the Boo to start coming to me saying she had 'words in her head that she wanted to say'. So the more I asked her about this, I learned what the deal was. Oh, they didn't show any dirty words alright... but the would just put a * for part of the bad word and go ahead and spell it right out. Well duh! The only thing that does is cause the mind to fill in the blank. So we had a good discussion about this whole thing and she couldn't wait to delete this site from her computer. Praise God. That's my girl! She has such a sense of right and wrong and doesn't even want to do anything that would draw her mind into a place that it doesn't need to go. There is something pure and holy about that! Why do we lose that as adults? We think we can 'handle' it etc, and then we fill our minds with more junk and wonder why we aren't close to the Most High and HOLY God. hmm I wonder why?!
Oh Father.. please teach us to want what is best and good and right and forsake all other!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
seek and find
Today we worked on a history project for the Boo's school. We had to get pictures printed out of some landmarks and people etc. Well... I couldn't find one of the pics. We hunted high and low. I thought it was in the envelope with the others, but where did it go? I knew we had been to this place before, so I hunted through more of our personal pics to see if I had a suitable substitute. This hunting among boxes and photo albums and looking online and looking at what I have in digital pics took quite a while..making for one Grouchy Mom! We ended up settling for some pics I took during the early 80's (!!!) with an Instamatic camera that are super grainy. But they showed what she needed and even showed some extra things on the same property as this popular historical building in our state.
Later in the day, I couldn't find a recipe. A friend is sick and I'm going to take a meal to her. I wanted to take a meal I had previously taken to her before as it transports well, her family likes it and it makes two (!!!) meals.. bake one and freeze one for another day. But... I couldn't find the recipe. I hunted through my recipe books and my cooking magazines and everywhere else I stash recipes and came up empty. I was so frustrated. I hate not being able to find things. Grouchy Mom Part 2!
I began to ponder how much energy was put into looking for these unimportant (in the grand scheme of life, that is) items. These things had stolen my joy and made me a total grouch for a good bit of the day today. Look at all the effort and emotion poured into these simple items! I had to stop and wonder if I pour that much energy and drive into seeking after God? Sadly my answer was no. I had to seek forgiveness when that realization hit me. But thankfully God is merciful and forgiving.
Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." - 'all my heart' certainly is a strong phrase. There are many other verses that I already have tucked into my frantic little brain that say this same thing. Kinda like thats something He wants us to hear and grasp, hmmm?! Father, please help me to seek after you earnestly!
Luke 14:26b "He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you." - on a side note. I started looking for the recipe again after I had prayed, and put my hands on it the first place I looked! Father, thank you for bringing this simple thing to remembrance, so I can put it to rest... and make a yummy meal for a sick friend!
Later in the day, I couldn't find a recipe. A friend is sick and I'm going to take a meal to her. I wanted to take a meal I had previously taken to her before as it transports well, her family likes it and it makes two (!!!) meals.. bake one and freeze one for another day. But... I couldn't find the recipe. I hunted through my recipe books and my cooking magazines and everywhere else I stash recipes and came up empty. I was so frustrated. I hate not being able to find things. Grouchy Mom Part 2!
I began to ponder how much energy was put into looking for these unimportant (in the grand scheme of life, that is) items. These things had stolen my joy and made me a total grouch for a good bit of the day today. Look at all the effort and emotion poured into these simple items! I had to stop and wonder if I pour that much energy and drive into seeking after God? Sadly my answer was no. I had to seek forgiveness when that realization hit me. But thankfully God is merciful and forgiving.
Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." - 'all my heart' certainly is a strong phrase. There are many other verses that I already have tucked into my frantic little brain that say this same thing. Kinda like thats something He wants us to hear and grasp, hmmm?! Father, please help me to seek after you earnestly!
Luke 14:26b "He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you." - on a side note. I started looking for the recipe again after I had prayed, and put my hands on it the first place I looked! Father, thank you for bringing this simple thing to remembrance, so I can put it to rest... and make a yummy meal for a sick friend!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
phone call
My dad is older and has one of those 'I've fallen and I can't get up' buttons. (different brand) Today a person from that place called me and told me he pushed the button and then didn't respond to them. This happened once before and he was outside picking up pecans. But I couldn't help but have many different images and scenarios running through my head as I drove over to his house to check on him. The idea of walking in and possibly finding him 'not doing so hot' so to speak, bothered me a little. Very un-nerving. Like I said.. many thoughts running through my head during the ride over.
I called a sibling on the way over and learned that Daddy was gonna mow the grass, so I began to think possibly this was another 'pecan thing'.. so my mind stopped racing somewhat. I arrived and found out that he had indeed been mowing the grass and the lawnmower bumped his 'button' and he was totally unaware of any concern he may have caused. So glad he was ok. Been a weird day.
Haven't posted much. Been sick with a cold. Been dealing with emotions and grief and school stuff w/the Boo and 'everything else'. I still don't have a new frig, but mine is holding its own right now. They broke mine trying to deliver it, so I have to wait for them to 'special order' me one. Glad mine is working NOW... something to be thankful to God for! We take everyday conveniences for granted til one of them breaks. I *will* be glad when the new one comes and I can return all the borrowed coolers that are in my dining room.. just in case though!
Have a blessed Sunday!
I called a sibling on the way over and learned that Daddy was gonna mow the grass, so I began to think possibly this was another 'pecan thing'.. so my mind stopped racing somewhat. I arrived and found out that he had indeed been mowing the grass and the lawnmower bumped his 'button' and he was totally unaware of any concern he may have caused. So glad he was ok. Been a weird day.
Haven't posted much. Been sick with a cold. Been dealing with emotions and grief and school stuff w/the Boo and 'everything else'. I still don't have a new frig, but mine is holding its own right now. They broke mine trying to deliver it, so I have to wait for them to 'special order' me one. Glad mine is working NOW... something to be thankful to God for! We take everyday conveniences for granted til one of them breaks. I *will* be glad when the new one comes and I can return all the borrowed coolers that are in my dining room.. just in case though!
Have a blessed Sunday!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
the seen and the unseen
What a difference a day makes! I am much better today. No circumstances have really changed, but I have. I am thankful for that. We had a very bad storm in the night and this morning driving to and from school I noticed downed fences, broken power poles, torn trees, branches in the road and general debris. I was reminded again of how awesome our God is. I try not to use the word 'awesome' for anything other than to describe God. He is! We throw words around so much.. that ice cream is awesome.. what an awesome sweater. Really?! No thanks. Only our God is awesome. I was just stunned by how powerful these storms were... and this was nothing compared to the many things we've all seen in the past. But still, it was a not-so-gentle reminder of Who God is! It just brought me to worship Him all the more on the drive home from school this morning. So often, instead of changing, or relieving our surroundings, he wants to change us and in so doing, relieve our distress.... in a different way than we sometimes 'want it' when we are in the thick of things and can only see what is in front of us, instead of the unseen. That's what God wants us to abide in.. the unseen. Thank you God for drawing me in last night and today to abide... to seek the unseen!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
everything!
It just feels like EVERYTHING is crashing down on me! The Boo has been sick and is still sniffing but that's not a big deal. There are 'school stresses' going on daily. This is the 'anniversary' of Bubba's passing and burial. I am sick. I haven't been sleeping. And to top it all off, yesterday my frig started giving hints that it wants to go out. I did a few errands yesterday and came home exhausted only to turn around and go back out the door to buy dry ice to keep the food cold. Then today, the repair man comes and he can't find anything wrong with it. It wasn't 'doing it'.. not his fault.. but its just not giving him any hints right now. ugh! Went shopping to find a new frig. Confusing! Not crazy about any of my choices. Found a couple that I could live with. Research is hard.. so many brands, soo many model numbers etc. ugh! My head is splitting. And then there was the man at the store... so helpful and yet I was thinking 'not today'... how many people in your family (to assess how long the water filter will last). Three. Any other day I can handle that as its quite a common question. But today, I'm already stressed out and emotional and exhausted AND its 'anniversary time'. I had planned on purchasing new flowers for the grave yesterday, as that was 6 years since we buried him... but with all the refrigerator stuff, I feel like I haven't been able to do what I NEEEEED to do to deal with this time and I feel like I want to cry, but don't have time. I turned away from the salesman today and kept looking at different models and tried to blink away the tears and swallow the lump in my throat. I can usually handle this but I'm crying now. I don't cry often. But sometimes I need it and I haven't had the time or energy to deal with it. The hubby is stressed with work and I'm exhausted and we did take out last night. I hate to ask again. I am so tired. Too many things crashing down at once. Thank you Jesus for living in me even on a day like today...for giving life purpose when the stuff that suffocates us is anything but...for being a shoulder to cry on, on this crazy, rainy, gloomy, stressful day. No spell check. Horrible grammar, I'm sure. I gotta pull it together and get the Boo at school... oh yeah.. and blow my nose!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
you know you're desperate when
I emailed this to a friend and thought it was too funny and umm too true not to share! So today's post is a no-brainer! Its slightly 'recycled'!
I have to set this up. I have been sleeping the sofa bed since I caught a cold. (I cough and blow and generally toss and turn and I don't want to keep hubby awake!) I have noticed that the foot end is a little higher than the head end. So I decided last night to lay the other way, but I was kinda facing the wall. Well, that kinda messes up laying there wide awake watching tv...you'd have to have eyes in the top of you head! Soo...you know you're desperate when.... you go digging around in your daughter's bathroom to find her medium sized hand mirror (at 11pm) so you can lay comfortably on your pillow and watch tv in the reflection of the mirror! It does work. From what I've 'heard'. And even sadder when you flip it to the magnified side 'just out of curiousity' to see if you can see the picture 'better'. You can't. Again.. thats just what I've 'heard'!
I have to set this up. I have been sleeping the sofa bed since I caught a cold. (I cough and blow and generally toss and turn and I don't want to keep hubby awake!) I have noticed that the foot end is a little higher than the head end. So I decided last night to lay the other way, but I was kinda facing the wall. Well, that kinda messes up laying there wide awake watching tv...you'd have to have eyes in the top of you head! Soo...you know you're desperate when.... you go digging around in your daughter's bathroom to find her medium sized hand mirror (at 11pm) so you can lay comfortably on your pillow and watch tv in the reflection of the mirror! It does work. From what I've 'heard'. And even sadder when you flip it to the magnified side 'just out of curiousity' to see if you can see the picture 'better'. You can't. Again.. thats just what I've 'heard'!
Monday, April 7, 2008
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