Yesterday was BSF. They have monthly luncheons for the small groups. I went the first week I was in a group. I was brand new and only listened. The second luncheon was when I had bronchitis, so I didn’t go. And then yesterday was our last one. So I decided I would go.
The point of this luncheon is to share what God is showing you in real life with what you’re learning through in the lesson. I love that. It’s not a ok, we’re not at church now, so let’s all gossip and talk about whatever we want to talk about. It’s on topic and it truly a sharing time. And the ladies are just precious.
So every girl at the table shared and then it was all eyes on me. I had shared with my BSF group leader that calls every week, as I worked my way through ‘the grief time’ this year. One week she called and I ended up crying all the way through the call. And then the next week, things were better and then the next week, even better. And she wanted me to share.
For the life of me, I could not think of what to say or how to say it. I didn’t plan anything in particular to say. I’m not even sure I felt led to share. But share I did. I have a hard time when I’m nervous (don’t know these ladies very well) and semi-emotional at the same time. Not a very good combination. I came away thinking I had not conveyed anything of value to them. Just a bunch of scrambled thoughts. I know there were some things God was saying in the midst of my nerves and jumbled thoughts, so I hope they could pick those out. : )
But I certainly don’t see any future in public speaking. Blogging is more my medium. I can think without a bunch of eyes staring at me. That gives me time to think through what I’m going to say and I think it edits my words so I don’t ramble and it helps me say just the things God would have me say (hopefully).
So now I’m just praying that God takes my inability to communicate and speak to these ladies in a way that I can’t.
5 comments:
Kay, I have a feeling you conveyed much more than you think.
I am not a good public speaker...and I tend to say crazy stuff sometimes, and don't even let me be emotional at the time..forget about it.
Glad you did go though...maybe next time you can blog your thoughts first?
Stretching out of your comfort zone? God is like that :)
Hugs to you Kay, you should be proud.
I did reply to your email (in case you haven't checked lately)
God used my 8-1/2 years in BSF to do HUGE things in my life. I started out too shy to even share in group, and as the years passed, I got more comfortable. I was eventually asked to be the treasurer, which meant I had to give monthly reports (reading 2-3 sentences) in front of approx. 300 people. I nearly fainted the first time I had to do it, but it got easier each time. Then I was asked to be a leader, which I did for 2 years.
I pray that He will use this wonderful study in your life to do big things too! ( :
Can I ask what BSF is?
Becky is right. God often calls us to do things that we can only do through His strength. It's a good reminder of His power and our humility.
I trust that He will. In those moments when we are authentically ourselves, flaws and all, He seems to be able to do so much. What's that saying? In my weakness, He is strong? "It is no longer I, but Christ that works in me..." something like that!
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