of bras and boobs

I had been putting off buying more bras. I knew after six months, I was eligible for two new ones. But what a hassle. And since I hadn’t been wearing them full time that long when six months rolled around, I just punted on the whole thing.

And then I decided it was time.

So I called the survivor chick place I go to and asked (praying inside for a miracle) if they still carried my favorite bra. It was a no. : ( So I had to make an appointment, come in and be refitted.

The place is super nice and very private and the girls there are great. And the experience itself is a positive one. The girl that helps me usually is a survivor herself and super patient.

We tried on and tried on. I finally asked her if I won the prize for the most try-ons.  But of course, I had not. It just felt like it. And her comment was that some girls find something that works right away. And it takes a little more work for others to find the perfect fit. And I guess I fit in the later category since my perfect bra is no longer made. (insert loud cries and pouts here)

We finally found a bra that sort of fit but it wasn’t in my size. So they ordered me one up and yesterday I went to try it on. It was a sports bra and seemed to support the foobs pretty well. And it didn’t have seams going across the bust. I HATE bras that have weird seams that seem to shine like a beacon in the night under my tops. Nothing like having my clothes shout out…lookie at the foobs. Notice anything weird? That’s exactly how some bras made me feel. Like extra attention was being drawn to the ladies than is normal or necessary. The foobs and I, we just wanna blend in, I tell ya.

So back to the sports bra. I bought it. And then tried it on again when I got home. And noticed something that bothered me ever so slightly. My foobs seemed not quite so cutely shaped, a little smashed and didn’t seem to stick out quite as far as with my other regular bras. And frankly, it ticked me off a little bit. When trying on bras, I am not wearing a top and after trying on so many, it seemed like a victory to find anything that came close to fitting. Without having weird seams. And it was super comfortable which was a major coup.  I tried it on for the girl and put my top back on and asked her if she noticed anything different in the foobial area. And she said they seemed a little smaller. BUMMER. I guess it’s not enough that I went from a D in real life to a B (which was my choice, I know), but now to be told they seem even smaller. It was almost too much to take. I did show and tell with the hubs last night and he couldn’t tell. But then again, the house could be sitting in smoldering ashes and he still wouldn’t be sure if he smelled smoke. He’s not always very perceptive, if ya know what I mean. But it’s bought and it’s mine, so that’s that. I know I will wear it and probably be ok with it. But I am just a little bummed about the fit.

And with the bra, I also bought a cami that is pretty cool. My foobs fit inside it so all I have are the two spaghetti straps on my shoulders. It’s very freeing to wear it. The scoop of the neck is bordering on being in the danger zone, but I finally decided to heck with it, I am just going to wear it. If some weird perv is so concerned with my anatomy, then he needs a lesson in eyes up here, eyes up here. So I went with it. I hope I am happy with it when I actually wear it, ya know…out.

So I am a bit pouty about this whole bra thing. This whole fiasco has just gotten under my skin a little bit.

No real point or fancy bow tie of an end to this post. I just needed to fuss. Thanks for listening. : )

guacamole

I was flippin’ channels the other day and caught a bit of Hungry Girl on tv. I don’t watch cooking shows much, but the fact that she was doing Mexican food made me perk up. I looove Mexican food.

And here is a true confession….I hadn’t ever had guacamole until a few years ago. I watched Alton Brown make it on Good Eats and decided to give it a whirl. And YUM! I lament all the years of going to Mexican food places and shoving ‘that nasty green stuff’ aside. Oh, what I missed!

But anyhoo, back to Hungry Girl. She was trying to make guacamole less fattening. (IMO guac is fine just like it is…replacing a healthy fat with a carb doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.) So! She put some mashed up green peas in with some avocado to make guacamole.

I just about died.

Talk about messing up some perfectly good food. Peas? Really?!

I do hereby promise that I will never EVER ruin a perfectly good dish by adding peas. Especially my beloved guacamole.

The end.

Pass the chips. ; )

a new every day routine

Every night she gets up on our bed and finds her snuggle spot and goes to sleep.

Every morning she hops off the bed before I get up, hoping to hide under the bed and avoid being caught and medicated.

Every morning she eventually comes out. Hunger always wins.

Every morning I put on an Academy Award worthy performance of not giving a rip that she came out from under the bed…so I can snatch her up and give her some medicine.  And then she runs and hides under the bed. Again.

Every day she continues to hide under the bed until she gets brave. Or hungry again. And ventures out from under the bed. Again, with my award performance of not giving a rip that she’s out and about. But this time, I don’t need to grab her; I’m just glad she’s out and about.

We go through this same routine. Every day. And every day I talk to her and tell her that if she’s already had her medicine then everything is cool and she can just relax and go about her day.

But every day she gives me the same “what the heck you talking about, lady?” look. And I feel dumb for trying to reason with a cat. Cuz it’s impossible.

At some point every day she comes around and figures out that indeed I am done poking meds down her and she can just ‘be’. But this has to be re-learned. Every day.

We go through this same routine every stinkin’ day and sometimes it wears on me.

It’s like that movie 50 First Dates.

I’d like to thank the Academy…and my cat..for making this award possible. Oy.

a week of days

This is ‘the’ week. The anniversary of the week we lost our Landon. But there is something unique this year. For the first time since we lost our little Bub 11 years ago, the days fall on the same days of the week as the year we lost him.

So Friday was remembered because we talked to his oncologist because he had been waking up at night in pain and he HAND DELIVERED TO OUR DOOR STEP a scrip for narcotics so we could go get in filled. And then we went to get in filled at a different pharmacy ( not just any pharmacy carries narcotics in liquids for kids) and both kids were running around acting crazy. We laughed and didn’t care. We knew his time of being with us was coming to an end, but even then we had no idea just how quickly it would actually come.

Then over the weekend he had more struggles. He felt decent so we did some ‘normal’ stuff. He wanted a pair of sunglasses, so we bought those for him. I cry every time I look at the pics of him lying on the couch smiling with those glasses on. On death’s door. But still trying to play and be a kid. (crying now just thinking about that)

Monday we went in to clinic to get him started on hospice. We had to wait forever in the waiting room and I was so angry I couldn’t see straight. Couldn’t the nurses and doctors just believe us that he wasn’t doing well and get the ball rolling without us coming in. (no)

Tuesday hospice came to get us started.  Fancy talk for coming to meet us. We continued to give liquid meds from his onc throughout the week because they didn’t know what to do with Landon and for some strange reason consulted ‘other sources’ instead of talking to his TWO oncs. (I was livid. I was also livid that hospice never contacted his oncs to let them know after he passed. Our sweet onc read it IN THE NEWSPAPER AND CALLED US.)

Thursday we finally got some relief in the form of a patch and some different oral meds…just in time for bed Thursday night. We put him to bed and he woke up in Jesus’ arms Friday morning. (I wrote more about this night here)

Friday we were numb. By 7 am the funeral home had come and gone and we began making phone calls. We went to Luby’s for lunch, but nobody was hungry so really we just pushed around some food on our plates. We had all lost our appetites from the events of the night and morning. By Friday afternoon, a friend came into town to do Landon’s service.

Saturday we planned everything at the funeral home and picked out a plot. In the pouring rain. Sunday was the viewing. Hubs and I went ahead to see him before we had to have it all together for the family viewing time. It was still raining. The power went out as we twisted the knob to enter his ‘room’. We waited on the power to come back on to proceed. Very strange. I remember not having any idea what to expect. In my mind he was tiny, but he was longer than I thought he was. I remember thinking he looked so big and yet so tiny at the same time. Something else nobody in their wildest imaginations can see in their mind’s eye…their little beloved one being laid to rest. Wanting to cherish the last time I would see his little face and his little hands holding on to one of his stuffed kitties and yet so strongly not wanting to remember him like this. But I do. *tears*

Monday was the burial and memorial service. It was beautiful and perfect and sweet.

All of these things were eleven years ago this week.

A week full of days that hold tremendous meaning and are special and break our hearts all at the same time. Little snippets that are forever etched on our memories…

So I will see you, my friends, on the other side. Please pray for us as we walk through this week in a strangely even more sobering way this year.

We miss you still, sweet boy. You would be so big. I can’t wrap my head around how much time has passed! Mommy and Daddy and Sister love you very much!

spring break in our rear view mirror

We all survived spring break. It was a pretty low key non-event around here. But we managed to squeeze in a little fun. : )

My girl turned 18. She had a small get together with her besties.

I made cupcakes. And there was no licking involved on my part. For the first time. Ever. And I didn’t eat one either. These aren’t the prettiest cupcakes but they are a recipe of my mom’s that this bunch seems to enjoy. So instead of a bundt cake, I made cupcakes. And I sent the leftovers home with everybody so they weren’t staring at me. Crisis averted. : )

One of the girls made her this pretty bookmark. This girl is a reader herself so it makes me smile that she gave my girl a bookmark for her birthday. It’s very pretty. Good job!

She could use it in Pride and Prejudice. She was having to read that for school. And this sort of book is not her thing really. (even though she finished reading it last night and ended up liking the ending, so it’s all good) But the girls also gave her this…

…which I think is a hoot. The light is awful because the flash is so obnoxious that I shot a lot of pics without it. : / But the book on the left is P&P and the book on the right is P&P and Zombies. Cracked us up! A fun little gift while she was trudging her way through the real thing. : )

They also did some things you can do now that you’re 18 kinda stuff. One of the things they did was a mock-wedding. This is the ‘bouquet’ being tossed. The girls made tissue paper flowers for fun and used these in their ‘wedding’. It was a hoot!

The party was fun. She had a great time getting together with the girls and I had fun planning it and listening to them laugh. : )

Also during spring break, my girl went for her driving test. Well, nerves got the best of her and she drove into a parking lot instead of making a right turn. And got so flustered, she didn’t do well on the rest of the test. She did not pass. (she went again a few days later and passed with flying colors, justsoyaknow) She was crushed and a little embarrassed but handled the situation with grace. I was thankful for her attitude and it was a learning time for her…even though she was disappointed at the time.

We drove to a podunk town near us to order her a class ring. It is one of the things about school she was missing and really wanted one. So we found a company that could make that happen even though she home schools. So that was a fun little outing.

On a funny note…we have had trouble with our potty flapper for ages. I can’t tell you how many we’ve gone through. But his time the hubs came home with something different.

Isn’t it cute? It’s kinda like being at a bed and breakfast every time I flush. Or not. ; )

My garden seems to be taking off. I have baby strawberries.

And the kale is getting bigger. And everything is really doing well and growing. And the squirrels are doing their best to dig it all up. Will be making a fence’y kinda deal pronto!

I had to take the cat to the vet Monday. She had a weird tummy. Come to find out she had lost THREE POUNDS. Gah. So the vet did a bunch of blood work on her and she’s got high thyroid. So we’re doing meds for that. She’s acting better but not eating as much now. I may end up trying to find something herbal for her if she doesn’t start eating soon. She is on antibiotics also which can cause her not to want to eat. The thyroid med doesn’t taste bad and it’s not hard to get it down her. But the antibiotic tastes bitter and she foams at the mouth with every dose. Which is gross, in case you didn’t know. ha. So it will be a long week or so til that’s over. Ugh. Poor kitty. Aaaand in a strange move I still don’t understand, she slug slobber onto my lip last night. Poor me. : p

Well I think that about covers all the major activities of spring break and beyond. Hope you are all doing well, my friends. : )

oatmeal chia breakfast

I have seen variations of what I’m about to show you all over the internet and on Pinterest. But I tweaked and changed and lowered the sugar (to zero) and I think it’s just about my favorite thing ever.

Are you ready?

(pretend I am showing you oatmeal, chia seeds, stevia, cocoa powder and almond milk)

(I totally forgot that until I was loading the pics and I deemed it too late since I didn’t want to start the process all over. Forgive me.)

Ok…back to the recipe…you start with 1/3 of a cup of old fashioned oatmeal…not the quick 5 minute stuff.

And then add about 2 teaspoons of cocoa powder.

And 1/8 of a teaspoon of stevia.

This is the kind of stevia I’m using right now.

And stir it all around til it looks sort of combined.

Then add 3/4 of a cup of unsweetened almond milk. (or the milk of your choice)

And 2 tablespoons of chia seeds. (follow the link and go read about this little super food dynamo!)

And stir it all up. Also add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract and stir that in too. I forgot to picture it. Pioneer Woman I am not.

That spoon is good for licking right about this point. Just sayin’. : ) And the bowl now goes in the frig for 15 to 30 minutes. I usually grab it closer to 15 minutes and everything is ok.

While the chia seeds work their magic and soak up some of the chocolate milk, it’s time to make the topping.

The cast of characters…cocoa powder…I buy mine at the health food store…it is dutch process and I think it dissolves easier, vanilla extract, a riper banana (or baby food banana if you don’t have a real banana on hand), flax oil, stevia and cottage cheese. Pretend my cottage cheese is organic..it usually is.

Anyway, combine 1 tablespoon of the flax oil with about a 1/4 of a cup of the cottage cheese in a bullet style blender. Also add about 1/2 the jar of baby food banana, or about half a banana, 1/8 teaspoon of stevia, 2 teaspoons cocoa and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Put the spurs to it!

Basically what you’ve got now is something that tastes exactly like chocolate pudding, but it’s super healthy!

Pull out your oatmeal concoction when you deem it settled enough. It will look sort of crusted over on the top. I always stir it some to mix it well and give the chia something else to soak up if they still want to.

Pour the pudding on top. And enjoy!

Y’all this is just about the most delicious breakfast ever. I took all the equipment on vacation to have this every morning for breakfast. I just love it. And if you get tired of the chocolate, you can just leave it out altogether and make the entire thing vanilla flavored. Both are equally delish!

And super healthy…love love YUM!

strawberries

The other day when I went to Home Depot the nursery to pick out my plants for the garden, I ran into a friend that works there. She has worked there for what seems like forever, but I never run into her because I usually go to ‘the other’ Hope Depot in my neighborhood. (closer, less traffic etc) But on this day, I needed a big ole honkin’ bag of vermiculite and ‘my’ store was out. So we made the trek over to the other store to pick up my soil amendment and get some plants.

The instant I saw Mrs K, we both just locked eyes and I immediately made my way to her and we hugged in the longest hug I’ve shared in a very long time. We go way back. She kept both of my kids in mothers day out and we used to go to the same church. She also used to baby sit my little guy for me while he was sick so I could grocery shop, since I couldn’t take him with me. And she had my girl in MDO when she got the tip of her finger slammed in a door (another little kid closed it on her..no negligence on the school’s part) and it cut off her finger print. I frantically arrived at the school to find Mrs K holding my screaming, flailing girl with her blood all over the both of them. I reminded her of that the other day…good times. : )

But anyway, as we got ‘caught up’ chatting among the plants, we quickly discovered  that we are both on a journey to remain healthy. She has stayed the course for a long time and at 62 is proud to say that she doesn’t take any medications. Because of her healthy lifestyle choices. And since I am a slow learner, I am navigating this world AFTER a major illness, unlike her. But we both excitedly chatted about what we do, what we eat, how much we enjoy it…and how much we wish others could see what their toxic choices are doing to them.

She later commented on my basket of transplants and said I should have lots of good food. Among other things, I got 2 varieties of strawberries, two plants each. And it has nagged me ever since. So a couple of days ago, I went back to the store (to her store..and chatted with her some more) and got two more strawberry plants (yet another variety) and planted them too.

Yesterday I went to a farmers market she told me about and they had early strawberries so I grabbed a small basket. I told the girl about them and instructed her to eat SOME of them for lunch while I went to the gym. When I got home, she told me she ate all “the big ones”.

Gee thanks, kid.

Makes me glad I got those extra two plants. ; )

Maybe a need a couple more.