what kind of fool do I want to be?

Today I heard someone say something.  It was one of those things that made me run for a pen and a scrap of paper.  It made me think hard thoughts I don’t like to think about myself.  It was a call to prayer.  A certain prayer. A pointed to prayer. And where is it pointing to? 

Help me see the fool in me.

It’s pointed to me.

Sometimes I like to see prayers pointed at other people.  Other people’s flaws. Other people’s problems. Other people’s lack of whatever.  That’s a lot easier. Until problems come, and then it’s glaringly obvious that those words were meant for me. 

I don’t always like it when the words are pointed at my heart.  They’re sharp and cut away at the me in me. Sometimes I fight it because it hurts.  Or I’m afraid. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed for people to just let go (of themselves) because I knew the Father would catch them and it would be so beautiful and such a delight,  not just for me to watch, but for them, as they would have been able to stop holding on to themselves and their thoughts and ideas and just let go.  But what holds us/me back?  Me.  The foolish me.  The one that thinks I know what is right. Even though I know I don’t. 

Some people think it’s foolish to spend time with God.  There are plenty of other things I could be doing, after all.  Foolish to be perceived as weak…in need of a Savior.. Aren’t we all in need?  So maybe there are two kinds of fools.  What kind of fool do I want to be?

Random Dozen Meme #3

Since the well has run dry on blogging the past couple of days and you’re all going to get tired of hearing about my cat, I thought I would participate in Linda at 2nd Cup’s Meme called Random Dozen.  She makes up a batch of questions each week and invites others to participate. So here we go…

 

1. Please share one middle school memory. It can be good, bad, ugly, funny. Pictures or words, I don't care, just share.  I had to think hard on this. I don’t remember a whole lot. I hated ‘middle school’…except back in the dark ages we called it junior high and it ran grades 7-9.  So let’s see… in 9th grade I worked in the office and one of my relatives was the principal, so that was kind of fun.

2. What's your favorite Beatles song?  I’m skipping this since I don’t listen to them.  : )

3. If I asked you to describe your most comfortable outfit, what would it be? That one is easy… shorts and a tee shirt…kinda like the one I’m wearing right now!

4. Would you rather host a party or be a guest?  Hmm… that one is hard… probably be a guest. I can leave whenever I want to.  And being as I’m ‘from the wall’ and all of that, I’m not a big party girl.. surprise! : p

5. Do you think we will move completely from traditional books to digital ones, and if we do, are you OK with that? I don’t think we will ever ‘do away’ with real live books, but obviously with things like Kindle (isn’t that what it’s called?) there is a shift. I have a Bible on my iPod Touch, but it will never replace a real paper Bible. The Touch is good for reading late at night though. I don’t need a light.  : )

6. Do you learn best by reading, listening or experiencing? I think a combo of reading and watching or reading.  I glaze over at written directions without pictures, but find I can’t get along if I can’t find a  place ‘where they explain it all’. Is my girlie-ness stickin’ out?

 
7. If you are (or when you were) single, what is the kiss of death for you concerning the opposite sex? (That is, what is one trait or behavior or habit or anything at all that immediately turns you off from considering that person a potential match for you?) When I was single, it was being overly aggressive … um bye-bye.

8. Snacks. Salty or sweet? SALTY.  I licked the inside of the almond can yesterday. I had to use a spoon because there was too much salt accumulated to get out with just my licked finger.  I know… k-lassy.

 
9. Look around you in a four foot radius. What object is around you that you didn't realize was there or forgot was there? How long has it been there? Some birthday cards. Since my birthday! : )

10. What is your favorite Tom Cruise movie? I dunno. Not into Tom Cruise.

11. You buy a bottle of shampoo and discover that you don't like what it does to your hair at all. What do you do with that full bottle?  Leave it out.  Look at it and grumble.  Use something else for a while and forget what it did to my hair. Try it again.  Repeat!  Finally throw almost full bottle away in disgust MONTHS later.

12. Your favorite Fall comfort food? Pumpkin Apple  Spice Bread.  YUM!

If you’d like to see what other folks are thinking this week, then click on over to Lid’s place and check out their answers!

party animal

I don’t think we will EVER outgrow playing with boxes at our house. The other day we got an air purifier and of course, it came in a big ole box. And any time there is a box, the cat will be nearby. So hubby decided to fix it so she could have a room with a view.

She liked it.

She has this little fuzzy ball. She never plays with it when she thinks we can see her, but occasionally we’ve ‘caught’ her making the most odd meowy sounds and she’ll have this crazy ball in her mouth. If she sees us watching her, she drops it, stops meowing and just sits there like 'what?’. Sometimes we come home from errands to find the ball… on the bed, the couch, in a chair, in the middle of the floor. We never know where she’ll party down next when we aren’t watching.

Busted!

living small

Saturday we went to Ikea. This is our third… visit…hoof…trek…day trip.

I remember the first time we went there, I was just shocked at just how many different kinds of things could be under ONE roof. Granted, it was a pretty huge roof, but still! One of my favorite things to do there is go through the little house set-ups they’ve got. It shows customers how they can use Ikea stuff to make great rooms.

I love looking through the little made up rooms at all the clever ‘storage solutions’ that abound. And yet I look at my house and all those funky furnishings just don’t mesh with the things I already own. *sigh* I am just not a hip/cool chick, what can I say?

This trip got me to thinking about what it would be like to furnish an entire very small house with stuff from Ikea! I wonder what it would look like? I wonder if I would shun living large (or aspiring to) and want to live in 1000 square feet or less… and love it?

I just don’t know if I could get clever enough with storage to be able to live with less space. We live pretty small now and at times, it can get frustrating. Hmm…maybe I need to think the Ikea way. But where do you begin?

I’ve always wanted to be a ‘little purse’ girl but I never thought I could pull it off. I have friends on both sides of the spectrum… everything from carrying a small carry-on for a ‘purse’ to a bag not much bigger than a wallet! I usually fit somewhere in the middle.

But I finally took the plunge the other day and found a cute little bag with a built in wallet area since that is the biggest and heaviest thing in my purse. And so far I’m loving it.

My old purse towers over my new little tiny one! So far I like it, but we’ll see. I certainly can’t hide a bottle of water in this purse, but that’s ok.

A girl’s gotta start somewhere, right?!

with the cat

So I did a little sewing project yesterday... with the cat.  I didn’t plan on doing it with the cat, but I guess she had other plans.  

This is the kitty ‘helping’ me place the pattern over the fabric.  

So much help!

Couldn’t get it done without her!

Enjoying the cutting mat after I finally got it all cut out. 

I’m such a late-comer to technology. I know our camera does video, but never even thought to turn it on until last night.  Yes, the picture jiggles at the end. I got the giggles!

Cat vs Gravity from NotesFromTheWall on Vimeo.

And here she is staring at me from the living room while I did my sewing…RESTING after such a busy evening helping me cut things out!

Need to keep an eye on things just in case I’m needed.

She is so stinkin’ cute… even though she’s a total mess! But I did get the dress done… even with the cat… and wore it to church this morning!

the past and the days to come

I’m doing a Beth Moore study. I’ve never done one before.  That might be a surprise to you… or you might say Beth who?  I’ve never really desired to do one, but I’m going to a new church and a good friend already goes there… and she usually does a Beth Moore study when school starts or a new semester for the ladies studies roll around.  So I decided to join her.

Anyway… I’m doing this study.  And to be honest I wasn’t sure if this was for me.  I’ve always studied my Bible since God really opened my eyes to Himself, but never in a ladies group, if that makes any sense.  And being sort of ‘from the wall’ and all, I wasn’t too thrilled about being in small groups and having to share and speak up.  Yes, sitting here typing is MUCH easier than pouring my heart out in front of six or seven sets of eyes staring back at me. 

Maybe this is just ‘my week’ like one of the other girls said last week when we gathered while I scratched my head in wonderment of such a statement.  Well, like I said, maybe this is just my week.  At the beginning of day three she makes a statement that sort of blew me over and yet I knew it was very true. 

“Christ is both Alpha and Omega.  When our lives are immersed in Him, every ending, everything we believe to be the death of us is instead a hand-engraved invitation to a new beginning.”

I read that and just said YES.  I knew what she was saying was for me. I knew it when Bub died. This is not the end of life.  We will go on.  Differently and with sorrow at times, but I knew that God would be moving forward in my life with Him and I knew He still had plans for me.  As a matter of fact, I heard a song called I Will Listen by Twila Paris during the time Bub was sick that I knew I would have played at his memorial service.  The first time I heard it, it pierced me to my very core because, as much as it hurt, I knew it was true.  I listened to it one time and the second time I heard it was at his memorial. Even now, I have to prepare myself to hear it because it is so moving to me. And a call to continue on.

The study this week was reminding me of one part of the song near the end where it talks about learning to dream the dreams He has dreamed for me. Those are hard words for a mother that has just buried her child, and yet so true.  He is still at work.  He still has dreams for what He wants to accomplish in me. 

Beth was having us make a timeline of God’s work in the past and the future work He will do in us. I so dramatically saw His hand at work in me during the time of Bub’s illness. And it just made me want to call out to Him for a fresh continuing of that work… to not get so lost in the everyday that I miss His work now and in the days to come.

ps.. no that’s not Twila singing and I have no idea who Kevin is. Carry on.

hi neighbor

This morning as the hubby and Miss Boo were getting ready to head out, (he takes her to school on his way to work. Love. it.) he was sitting in a chair putting on his socks and shoes. Out of the blue he mentioned that he really should be singing the Mr. Rogers song while doing it.

So he proceeded to pull it up on You Tube and play it for us. I’ve seen it many times and it warmed my heart just a little bit to see that familiar face and hear a song I’d heard many times before.

She giggled while the music played… you know… really corny mom. But I smiled and sang along anyway.

I loved Mr. Rogers when I was a little girl. I knew he was waiting for me. He showed me interesting things and sang songs to me. And he cared for me. He told me I was special. And I believed it because he told me so everyday.

Eventually I figured out that Mr. Rogers wasn’t real. He didn’t really live in the little house or have a trolley in his living room or a Picture Picture or a fish tank or a delivery man named Mr. McFeely. He was a real person named Fred Rogers and even though he really did care about kids, he couldn’t see me through the tv or sing and talk to just me.

I’m so thankful God can. And that He brought me to know that I’m not just special, but precious to Him because He loves me. And He does sing to me. If I’m quiet and yielded to Him I can hear it.

“The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

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