Way More Homemade Holidays

Donna at WayMoreHomemade is hosting a carnival today about the holidays. I've been thinking about what I would want to write. But the face of the holiday has changed so much for us. For my husband and me individually as our grandparents aged and died. For me in the loss of a parent and us in the loss of a child. Sometimes this is a hard time of year.. and one I don't particularly get excited about. Like I said, sometimes it's just hard.

But I tried to think of something that's always been a constant. And that would be ornaments. The year we married, we were living on a shoestring, so I made all our ornaments. I was seriously into the whole 'country' thing so I made mauve and blue stuffed hearts to hang all over the tree. I have since made a full recovery from my attachment to mauve and country blue. Ahem. I liked it but of course, it wasn't the classic gold or red. Now I feel like I was ahead of the curve when I see all the wild colors on trees now. We bought an ornament that year to remember our first year. And after that, we decided to buy an ornament every year to commemorate something or other. One year it was a key ornament when we bought our house, there were 2 pregnant ornaments and all the various baby and child ornaments.

Early on in our marriage, a friend and I used to make a treasure hunt out of finding cute ornaments for me. We found loads of mouse ornaments! I used to collect mice and I think she used to get a kick out of me making a big fuss over the sweet little things. Every year when I unwrap them, it's like I'm getting them for the first time again. So stinkin' cute!

One thing that comes to mind every year, is the last ornament our son picked out. At Christmas, we knew he wouldn't be with us much longer, and yet we just continued on with a quiet knowing that this was going to be 'it'. It was very surreal. We went on and let the kids pick out their ornaments as usual. Bub picked out a Veggie Tales one. I have a pic of him proudly holding up his ornament when we decorated the tree. And we continue to purchase ornaments in his memory when we see something that is particularly 'him'. And of course, BooBoo gets an ornament too.

People have given me homemade ornaments and I love those. And I've made a few more recently myself. Last year I gave out dough ornaments as simple small gifts for teachers etc. Boo Boo and I had fun making and painting them together. I have a cross cookie cutter and I'd like to use that this year and make some more. (hint hint: would love ideas on colors to paint them and/or something to write on them etc)

For more traditions, go visit Donna at Way More Homemade Holidays!

an update and the silver tree

First, for an update on the kitty and the 'situation' with MY throw. She will tolerate being covered with the new throw, but still will not lay down on it. I guess you could call that progress. She slept in our bed last night. I've wondered if this cooler weather has sent her looking for other warm bodies. But thankfully, she didn't sleep on my leg. Yay! She makes me laugh. Her little mind is so funny!

And now, the silver tree. When I was a little girl, we always went to visit my grandparents on Christmas Day. Every year. And the tree was always up and the house smelled like dressing and pie. And fudge. And divinity. She could make anything. But when you're a kid, the first thing you see is the tree. And it was silver. It didn't have the lights and it didn't spin either. It just sat there. But we didn't know any better, so that was ok. They had ornaments that looked old to me at that time. But they all matched. It was a very pretty tree. But it was only up one day. Yes... one day. They put it up early on Christmas Day before everyone arrived and it was taken down later that day by the grandkids 'after it was over'.

It was all so simple back then. The meal was simple. The tree was simple. Our gifts were simple. But we enjoyed ourselves and had a great day. It was sad when my grandparents died 9 months apart while I was in high school. It changed the whole dynamic of Christmas. I don't think it's ever been the same since the silver tree. None of us cared that we didn't have much. Or that my grandparents house was very sparse (by today's standard) and plain. Or that her only kitchen counter was a hoosier. And the only thing hanging on the wall in the entire house was an electric clock in the kitchen. Nobody cared a lick. But everybody cared about each other. You could see it when all of us "young'uns" sat around the kiddie table eating our dressing and cranberry sauce. And you could see it in our smiles.

I know it's almost Thanksgiving and this post is pretty much about Christmas. Just imagine the same scene minus the tree, and you've got a typical Thanksgiving. I miss that. Life has changed a lot since I was a little kid. It's sad. I don't like this time of year. I think that's why I haven't blogged much. I don't think a bunch of posts that say 'I hate this time of year' are very appealing, do you? Anyway... I am thankful for having that when I was a kid. But now that I'm grown, I know that it wasn't perfect. (how many situations are perfect, honestly?) But the grownups still made it special for the kids. I hope to be able to make both holidays special for our daughter as well.

but it's MINE

Cats are funny.. and picky. I guess I didn't understand just how picky they could be until we got one. She likes being on things.. and in things, as you can see by the pic of her in a cat bed I got for her at Ikea. It is just so stinkin' cute, isn't it?

Anyway... she used to sleep in the bathroom. But then she started making all sorts of racket so we decided to try to see if she could get happy sleeping outside the bathroom. Yeah.. she eventually got cozy sleeping outside the bathroom, on my leg. I wasn't overly thrilled. But then she decided she liked the throw on the couch... my not so cheap Lands End fleecy something or other throw. At first I was happy that she was just off my legs at night, but then one day I wanted to curl up on the couch with MY blanket and it was all cat-hairy and that bugged me.

So I got an idea. I decided yesterday to get her a new blanket all her own. So I went off to Big Lots in search of an alternative that costs less than my Lands End throw. I found one. It's really soft and a similar color. I washed mine and hers together in hot to get the cat off MY throw and to clean hers and get it ready for the couch. Weeeeell....

...crazy cat won't even go near the new throw. And if you put her on it, she scrambled off like she's been shot out of a cannon. So out of desperation, I 'fixed' the new throw on her 'spot' on the couch and put the old throw next to it, in the middle of the couch, which is not her favorite spot. Guess where she ended up? Yep.... on the old throw in the middle of the couch. Drives me nuts. I like MY throw but I don't have any ideas on how to get it back. Do you think reverse phsychology would work.. you know... I'll take her throw as mine and see if she gets jealous? That just makes me giggle.. having to play mind games with a cat to to get her to sleep with an $8 blanket!

Monday madness

This has been a typical Monday.. with a little extra thrown in. One of the first things on my 'to do' list when I get started on my Monday is to make out a grocery list. To do that, I have to do my menu planning. I look through cookbooks and ask if there are any requests over the weekend so that on Monday, I can write down all our meals for the week. Then I'll know what goes on the list. I've gone to the dark side started buying my groceries at Walmart instead of Kroger, since they always have the fresh meats I need on a consistent basis. Anyhoo... I make out my list of grocery and non-grocery items on the computer. I put a * next to the produce items and 'first things' on the grocery side. And I put the non food things at the top of the list, so I'll remember them before I head over to grocery.

Then I get started and try and focus to "git'r done". I am always smiling when I see the lady at checkout because the end is in sight. It means I'm almost done with the most unfun chore of my week! And we know what we're having every night of the week because I post the meals on the microwave so I don't have to answer one very nosy, very forgetful little girl over and over and over. A-hem!

My only bummer today was that they were out of cranberry sauce. Bummer. The holidays are a'coming and I could feel it in the stress and struggle of everyone at the store today.

Friday Five

Otherwise known as... I don't have much to say about anything.

1. Texas weather is nuts. It was supposed to turn off cooler today. I wore jeans and a flannel shirt expecting the drop. Well, nope.. it's still not cooler. So now I'm in shorts and a tee shirt. But by tomorrow I might want the flannel again.

2. My cat is so cute she just makes me want to smoosh her. I guess that's why she hates me so much. I guess my snugglin' and smoochin' just drives her batty.

3. I think my whole family is burned out on school right now. She is tired of it. We are tired of it. It just feels like it never ends sometimes. Looking forward to Thanksgiving break!

4. I dislike school projects. There is always some element that a parent cannot turn a child loose on... like gathering photos and getting copies made so you can glue them to some board. Just sayin'. : )

5. I bought some floral pick things that are Christmas-y to try and redo my wreath. I croak at spending a big ole wad of money on a brand new wreath I put out for 3 or 4 weeks a year. I haven't decorated the mantle in years. Thought I would do it this year.. but needed to redo the wreath. I hope it turns out good. It if does, I might post a pic. If not, I won't.. ok.. maybe I will so you all can laugh at it. LOL

I'm in a writing rut. Can anybody tell?

irrational fear

I was eating lunch with a friend yesterday. We were actually talking about the 'thing' that happened the other day with the lady on the phone. (and we hit on pretty much that whole post. Nobody I know in my real life knows I blog, so I guess it's 'used' material when we discuss it, but whatever.) We were also talking about giving in general. And I was going on and on about how I want to sponsor a Compassion child. But then I said I didn't know when it would happen...

...because of irrational fear. Do you want to know what it is???! It's the fear that something 'bad' will happen to the child while we sponsor it. Crazy isn't it? So many good things will happen to this child IF we sponsor it, but I can't get over the possibility of something terrible like an incurable illness coming to this child and having a front seat watching something happening half way around the world. I think sometimes I just can't go there anymore. I try so hard sometimes to protect my heart. But from what? I know in my heart that sponsoring would bring so much hope and happiness and just a chance for life to be different for them.. which is so wonderful and amazing.

And yet there is that stupid, irrational fear. My friend and I were talking about it and I was afraid it wouldn't make any sense to her. But she said it did on an emotional level. And I guess that's good.. I'm not totally whacko. Just a little bit.

This whole thought process runs it complete opposition to a discussion a friend at church and I were having the other day. She was telling me how she was so glad I could show to the world that there is life after what we went through with Bub. That there can be happiness and joy. And I teared up. Because on the one hand, I know that is true, but not because of *anything* I have done or can do for myself. I know there are many ways in which God has healed my heart. And I know that it is only because of Him that I have any measure of peace and joy regarding Bub. He is the only reason I've been able to continue. And I can see it in myself when I've begun to stray from God and I begin to 'see' my thoughts in different ways and realize I'm not really 'with' God at that time, if that makes sense. And of course, those thoughts remind me of where He wants me to be. Abiding in Him. (there's that word again!)

So there is it.. the jumble of irrationality and relationship that intermingle constantly in my heart. There is life and happiness and yet just under it, there is a story of 'other times' that are never that far away. A strange life sometimes.

Works for Me Wednesday-or I write on my clothes!

This morning I was reading Works for Me Wednesday at Rocks in My Dryer and realized I had two good tips just sitting there on my mental back burner. So here they are!

First of all... it totally made me laugh when she talked about getting jeans at the thrift store. I am so into that too. And yes, they're like $3 even if they still have the tags on them. I just bought a pair of capris that came from Dillards that still had the tags on them for $3. Score! But this tip has to do with some new jeans I bought. I have a hard time finding things that fit. I think most of us feel the same way. So when I find jeans I like, I'll buy two or three pairs. Well even though they all might technically fit, most of the time there are slight variations in the fit. And sometimes I'd rather wear one over the other... just depends on how many Oreos I've had lately. A-hem. Now.. here's what I do so I'll know which pair I'm grabbing. I write on the tags. I know! It kinda feels like running with scissors or something. I had to tell myself that, yes it IS ok to write on my clothes. So here's what I do.. I number them. I bought 3 pairs of the jeans in the below pic..and yes... all three fit differently.. but this pair fit the loosest. So I marked them with a 3. They are numbered by how they fit. So now I don't have to try on all three pairs to find the ones I want.

By the way.. in case you're wondering.. these jeans are Lee Stretch and I got them at Penneys and they are wonderful.

Similarly, when I buy new socks, I mark my old ones. Here's why. I still have old ones exactly like them. Yes I am brand loyal. But more than that, I buy what fits. And I have small feet. And if you have small feet, the athletic socks at Target with the brand of Champion on them run smaller and I don't have to tie a knot on the end of the toe to wear them. Just sayin'. Anyhoo.. I put little dots on my old socks so after a few washes I can tell them from my new ones. New socks feel different, but after a wash or two they don't look much different (thanks to walking around in my sock feet at home all the time). And my delicate ankles can tell if there are different amounts of pressure from the elastic and it bugs me. So now I can tell the new from the old just from checking for the dot when I mate and fold. For more fun tips, visit Works for Me Wednesday at Rocks in my Dryer.