summer school of sorts

Today was graduation day. She got a diploma…and a sugar rush.

It’s been a long month of baking and making greasy icing, but my girl has come a long way. 

Week one was just learning how to squirt out icing on some cookies.

Week two had them following a pattern in the book that comes with the class. She chose the cupcake.

Not bad. Week three had them decorating cupcakes. I was going to pick her up at a friend’s house after class and with all the extra moving around, her cupcakes took one for the team. They got pretty squished so there wasn’t much to take a picture of. I didn’t even get to see them before they got messed up. *sad face*

And then week four was today. They all decorated a cake. I wasn’t sure what to think about it all but I was very impressed!

She even demonstrated how to make roses when we got home from class. Her favorite one..the best one..is at the bottom left. She got better and better as she made them.

Good job, sweetie! : )

get in the boat

Yesterday we went to the waterpark with a bunch of buddies. A fun time was had by all. No one came away red or even pink, thanks to adequate sunblock.

Unlike last week.

*insert PSA here*

I have been using Banana Boat products for years and have always enjoyed good protection with their products. But the line of Boat products I used the most left me sticky, which isn’t all that bad at the waterpark, but is messy and icky at a function that requires…say…regular clothes.

So I have been on the hunt for a better solution. I tried some Neutrogena stuff..and let me tell you, it was pricey! And I came away red more than once even though it said it was waterproof. So it was back to the Boat with us. But this time I tried something else in their line…and the girl and I both came away red last week. She got it worse than I did. And I felt like a dog for it.

So I did some research online and found that not all Banana Boat products are made equal. So I tried the Sport line (in the orange bottle) and neither of us were the least bit pink after yesterday. It is the same stuff that left me sticky “back in the day”, but I don’t think I was as sticky when I used it this time. I wonder if they’ve reformulated it or something. But anyhoo…one of those consumer rating/research places online gave Banana Boat Sport and No Ad Brand the best ratings.

(It also comes in a ‘face’ formula and it worked perfectly on both of us…with no burning eyes either!)

So get on the boat…the Banana Boat!

*end PSA*…and no, nobody paid me or gave me anything to say that. I just don’t want you burned like we were. It was so nice to just leave the park, wash the day off and be the same color I was at the start of the day. Woot!

As I said, a fun time was had by all. I had a particularly thrilling couple of moments when a spider when down my cleavage swim shirt and I began to wonder if I was gonna have go to into wardrobe malfunction to get the silly thing OUT. But thankfully I was able to finally flick the little guy out of there without scaring anybody around me or getting kicked out of the park.

So it was a good day indeed.

the jury is out

Today was the day.

I had a date. At the courthouse.

But it wasn’t my idea. I got called to jury duty.

I’ve never been before…that’s one of the perks to having small children. You get off the hook. But now she’s not so little. So much for getting off the hook. : /

I was not thrilled about driving “down town” either. I have never driven down there. Hubs took me around down there a couple of times so I would know my way around the crazy maze of one way streets and hopefully find my way.

I had the choice of a free lot a few miles away, which included hitching a ride on the public bus system. Orrrr, I could pay and park in the parking garage right next door to the courthouse..space permitted. Guess which one I chose!

Best $15 evah! (PTL for a parking place!)

So I got there and walked in and was greeted by airport style bins and metal detectors. Great. The buckle on my shoes went off so I had to go back through and take them off and put them in the bin also.

And walk through security barefooted.

After that, the same helpful guy that told me I would need to remove my shoes, also pointed out that I could get some booties to wear.

You’re a little late with that tidbit, dude.

I found my courtroom and planted myself on the pew in the hallway…along with the rest of humanity. I won’t even go there. And commenced to waiting. And texting. I informed my peeps that I had found the bathroom and been in there twice since I arrived. My daughter texted me back that I get bonus points for that find.

So they were having a good laugh at my expense. Evidently I’m here to entertain and to serve.

At some point the hubs and the daughter ran out of snarky things to say. But it took a while.

And the bailiff (???)…he was wearing a uniform and a gun..but whatever…”the guy” came out and gathered all our jury duty slips and we were told to keep waiting. He also made an under his breath comment about ‘this’ possibly taking a week. Soon he came back out and told us that the case had been settled. I guess that was his idea of “humor” earlier. Well, it was totally lost on us. Not a bit funny. And with that, we were free to go. That is..after we went to the dismissing area. That room is one up from the benches..these were real chairs with padding and everything.

I chose to sign over my ‘pay’ to charity hoping there would be less paperwork and I could get out faster. But alas that wasn’t the case. Oh well, maybe they’ll name a wing after me with that $6 donation!

And with that, I was on my merry way across the street, and up the scary steps to my van to whisk myself back to the ‘burbs!

the highlights

I’ve been doing a lot of reading. I just finished Crazy Love by Francis Chan. And I just started Forgotten God, also by Chan. I am also reading The Breaking of the Outer Man and the Release of the Spirit by Watchman Nee.

Not exactly whatcha call light summer reading.

But good. Oh so good.

So good that I keep my highlighter handy at all times. So far in Forgotten God (I just started it), I have been in agreement with the things said…meaning the thoughts expressed aren’t new thoughts to me, but I do agree with them. And then I highlight them.

But especially in the Nee book, I highlight something because I agree with it. And other times I highlight because I know what he’s saying is true, but that truth isn’t alive in me yet. In the highlighting, I am in mental agreement with the idea or concept. And often those words stick with me or I find myself returning to them and reading them over and over until they become a part of me.

But something was still missing.

I am just beginning to understand that in the reading, I also need to give a more deliberate consent to the truths expressed and take them into my spirit and submit to them spiritually. Not just my mind. I have struggled with this for a very long time and yet for some reason, couldn’t “figure out” the answer. To which I say DUH to myself. The missing link to taking these truths further…whether expressed by an author in a book or in the Bible itself…is prayer.

I must pray though what I am reading. Pray the very truths/things being presented. My spirit would agree with them and yet I wondered why they weren’t coming alive in me any more than they were. I know of doing this, but I had never really figured out how to practice it. I am still just learning.

The Nee book is especially teaching me this. It is a very hard read. And taking me beyond what I know and what I am comfortable with. And yet there have been many “ah-ha moments” contained. Answers to some of the very basic and yet vital questions of walking with God. And yet those answers bring me to see that I need God all the more…and for more than just mental consent to the truth. But for it to be alive in me.

And for that, I am praying my way slooowly through. 

*I will give a short ‘sales pitch’ for the Nee book. Excellently written and hits the nail on the head as to our struggle to walk with God, be fruitful and experience His presence in our every day life.

on hymns

There is a lot of friction in the church today over music. So much so that it is a super hot topic on every side of the fence imaginable.

You’ve got what some call “the old people” howling about how we don’t sing hymns anymore.

And you’ve got the young kids saying they can’t relate to the archaic lyrics of hymns and prefer a more “modern worship experience”.

And there are many shades and facets and opinions all the way around the table on this.

Sometimes I’m not sure where I stand on the whole thing. I really enjoy some current music and enjoy when I am able to sing it in church instead of just in the car by myself.  But the only problem with this scenario that I’ve come across is…and I am not talking about any church in particular, but this is something I have heard expressed in many places…the only problem is that I seldom know a single song that is being done. So I just stand there. And look around. And watch all the other people just standing there. Not singing, just like me.

So this “corporate worship time” is in actuality a “concert”. But the only thing is, I usually know the words when I go to a concert because I know the artist. At church, I usually end up staring at the screen at lyrics I’ve never seen before…and will most likely never see again. And a part of my soul that wants to sing out to my Creator is stifled.

And the reason I am telling that part is not to rat on anybody, but to make an important point. About hymns.

And before you say “oh boy, there she goes, harping in hymns and hating other music”, hear me out, ok?

Almost any worshipful song has the potential to bring believers into the presence of God..and isn’t that the goal? But one of the things that bothers me about this strange trend to be led in singing a lineup of things no one knows is that there is no continuity there.

I am struggling to explain myself, so it feels like things are getting very wordy and I’m just now getting to my point, so bear with me. I have shared before how we sang two songs at Bub’s memorial. One was a more contemporary song, You Are My All in All (by Dennis Jernigan) and the other was a hymn, Great is Thy  Faithfulness. The interesting thing about both of these songs is that God has used both of these songs in many contexts in my life. I have sung the contemporary one during happy times and obviously sad times, and yet the words remain true and become stronger within me the more I sing them. The same is true for the hymn. I have been singing that song my whole life in every possible context…from a ‘nothing’ Sunday as a child or as an adult at a wedding and at a funeral and beyond. And every time I sing the song it takes me to all those places. And reminds me of the past and where I am now and where God has taken me and wants to take me from here and continues to anchor those words to my heart that indeed, God is faithful. Every word and every phrase means more to me now than it did the last time I heard it. And God shows me something new of Himself the next time I sing it that I didn’t know all the other times. And that brings me full circle..not to worship the past, as many people “accuse” older adults of wanting to do…but to a new place, yes connected to the past, but only knowing the now because of it.

I am a poor communicator, but those last sentences are what I’ve been trying to get to. So many times I’ve been in modern worship services and there is no connection to the past or the present in what I’m singing,,,or just listening to. And I miss that gentle knowing that there is no shadow of turning with Thee…all I have needed Thy hand hath provided..Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord Unto Me. And knowing that I know that.  Or whatever lyric that God choses to use to draw me to see more of Him this time in the hearing of the same words than I heard and knew of Him last time I heard those same words. This…THIS is my struggle with the modern way that is constantly in flux..constantly introducing the new and throwing out the old..or the older. We’re missing a gentle jewel that God has for us.

*Please don’t hate me or tell me that I am wrong in this or that I don’t understand or that I am being judgmental or slamming this or that..I am merely sharing my experience and what God has revealed to me through his Spirit.

school’s out!

We have now officially completed 10th grade! She was down to two finals left. And spent a week studying for one and then almost  a week studying for the last and she took that one a little over a week ago.

We have returned her books from this year and registered and purchased her books for next year. She’s turned in every little odd and end required in every class and received her final grade in all her classes. 

We are done.

It’s been nice to let her sleep in some. And it’s been nice to see little doodles on her whiteboard calendar instead of things like “study” and “test” and “write paper”.  Little doodles are a lot more fun.

We have no big plans for the summer…or the fall. Which is kind of sad. She’s taking a beginner cake decorating class with some friends.

I ate some of her classwork when she got home.

I like this class. Yum. : )

a living, furry parable

We knew a short time after we lost Bub, that a pet was going to be in our future. We had the tug of war…dog-cat-dog-cat? But then finally settled on getting a cat. The girl has been crazy for kitties since she could barely say “kitty”. So that was settled. We would get a cat. I remember one day the hubs and I were out shopping at Walmart while she was at school and we bought food bowls, a carrier, litter, toys, a bed etc. But we didn’t get a cat.

We waited and waited and waited. But “someday” we would get a cat.

One day I was driving home from taking the girl to school and I had this really strong impression that today was ‘the’ day we had been waiting for. The day to go shopping for a cat. It sort of threw me off, and I prayed about the whole cat thing. And more and more I knew it was cat shopping day.

So I came home and told the hubs this, since he was home from work that day…coincidentally.  (I add that word as a joke because there really isn’t room for coincidence when God is at work.)

So we went to our local shelter. There were two cats. One of them pretty much had a sign on the cage that said she was the spawn of the devil didn’t get along with kids, had trouble with this or that etc. You get the picture. So we focused on the ‘other’ cat. But she was our only choice. So we headed to a pet store or two and another shelter, but there were NO kitties available for us. So we went back to our shelter and looked again at ‘the other cat’ again.

She was cute as a button and purred constantly.

And I guess you can figure out that the other cat was our Annabelle. We adopted her on Valentine’s Day of 2003. She was born in the fall of 2002….the same year we lost Bub.

This little kitty came into our lives and as you can guess, we fell for her immediately. We read all the books and did everything we were supposed to do so that she would bond especially with the girl. As this was kind of supposed to be her cat. But she didn’t really care that much for the girl. My husband on the other hand would rough house her and I was afraid she would become afraid of him. Instead she fell madly in love with him. And she still is.

And then there is me…I was pretty much crazy about her from the git go. She was cute and funny and she filled our home with the pitter patter of little feet once again. And not unlike parenting a human child, I took most of the care for her as well. Vet visits, scooping, feeding etc. And I as I said before, I fell in love with her.

I loved her no matter what.

I loved her when she begged for food. I loved her when she bit my feet in bed. I loved her when she meowed wanting that toy that went behind the couch and I had to crawl around on the floor to pick it up. I even loved just plain ole looking at her. Even when she ignored me.

And I’ve tried through the years to show affection to her by picking her up and wrapping her in my arms. But she fights and fights and pushes with those little paws until I have no choice but to put her down and let her do her thing. The only time that she seems to really crave me or my affection is when we go to the vet. She crawls into my arms like a baby and I hold her like one with her little head resting against my shoulder and cheek. I love it, but all too soon, we’re done with the vet and back home. And she goes back to ignoring me interspersed with pouncing my feet as I walk across the living room. And still I love her.

For many years, I have struggled with why God wanted us to have this cat. This cat that doesn’t love me…and merely tolerates my girl. (she has gotten a little better with the girl, btw)

And then one day God said something to me.

You and your cat are a lot alike. You come to me “meowing” expecting Me to do certain things for you. But sometimes when I try to love you, you push and shove Me away and run and hide. There are times when you come to Me just to be with Me and let Me hold you and those times are beautiful. But there are other times you do not and yet I still love and care for you. And yet when you’re pushing Me away, I can’t give you a fuller measure of the very thing your heart desires more than anything else. Me.

At first I didn’t know what to think about this. I would say in my heart that it was true. Or that it wasn’t true, depending on my mood. But that was about all. It’s only of late that I have really been letting myself be broken and made small so that I can have more of the very thing my heart desires more than anything else. Him.