12 years

Twelve years ago tonight, we kissed our little guy goodnight for the last time. He woke up in the arms of Jesus early in the morning.

It still hurts. A part of my heart still swells with ache when I recall those last days and the days following. And yet now as the years have gone by, it seems more settled. Less of a piercing and more of just an ache.

But still an ache.

The hurt is less extreme. There was less dread this year. I know part of the reason for that is that I now live in the shadow of not just what this awful disease has done to another person, but what it can do to me. And I to live every day with the realization that none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.

And yet if we are His, we are guaranteed more than a tomorrow…we know He’s made a way for our eternity. So thankful for that.

Hugs and love to you, sweet one. We do still miss you and wonder all the what if’s. But we are thankful there is one thing we don’t have to wonder about. Your forever.

Love, Mommy

happy stuff

I went to the gym today in SHORTS and did not freeze. I may have blinded a few people temporarily with all the bright shining light from my snow-white legs. But other than that, it was good to be out and about wearing something lightweight and comfy. I know winter isn’t over yet and will surely show it’s ugly cold head, but I take what I can get when I can get it.

I took my kitty back to the vet today to get her kidneys checked out. Again. This was just a recheck to make sure everything was still grooving along the way it’s supposed to. She did a quick test and we waited for the results. And then she called her a miracle kitty again. Her labs are looking better than ever. And she’s gained 3 ounces. So it’s all good in the kitty hood right now.

I made baked flautas and what started out to be a mango salsa but was more of a veggie and fruit Mexican salad after I added everything but the kitchen sink. The girl and I both loved it. All the bites were eaten.

I’m still loving my NutriBullet. Love-ing! I am finishing a green smoothie while I write this.

See, happy stuff. I like that.

snow day

It’s snowing. I think a list is in order today.

1. Hubs had a wreck a few miles from home on the way to work this morning. (he’s fine!)

2. He called to tell me.

3. Calls not long after he leaves the house are NEVER a good sign.

4. But the fact that I was talking to him was a start in knowing that at least HE was ok.

5. It was only a fender bender. But he’s been on the phone all morning getting things in order to get it fixed.

6. He ended up driving the girl to school…and will pick her up when it’s over later this morning.

7. I was supposed to go to the grocery store this morning…but we can make it. I’ve got enough fresh stuff to get us by.

8. I am making a vegan broccoli ‘cheese’ soup for lunch. (for the girl and I..he will likely have a PB&J)  I made it for myself the other day to test out the recipe and it was soo good. Surprisingly. Pinterest is a wonder, that’s all I can say.

9. I’m not a winter girl. I’m ready to start shopping for real estate in Florida for my ‘winter home’. And I guess I can shop for my summer home in Colorado while I’m at it. ; )

10. When I woke up this morning, I checked WeatherBug on my iPod and it said our ‘feels like’ temp was –1. All I could think of was..what the hey??? This is Texas. It’s not supposed to get ‘minus’ anything here.

Dear Winter…I’m done.

Bush 43

So after being a Debbie Downer in my last post, I thought I would update again and tell you about the great day we had the day after Christmas. We loaded up the car and headed to Dallas to George W. Bush’s Library and Museum.

And it did not disappoint.

I had the idea to make this post because it was such a fun day but when I looked through my pics, I realized I didn’t take very many. I don’t know what was wrong with me. It was a teensy bit crowded and sometimes that makes it hard to take pics of just what you want..without lots of other people ‘ruining’ the pic. I really regret not taking pics of a single one of Laura’s beautiful gowns. Trust me..stunning! She is such a classy lady though, she could wear a feed sack and make it look like couture.

One of the big reasons I wanted to go at Christmas was because of the special displays during the holiday. This is the tree filled with ornaments that hung in the White House… I’m thinking 2002. The year the theme was ‘home for the holidays’. The tree was beautiful.

A little snippet up close.

 

Mt Vernon. I took at pic of that one because we’ve visited that one, so it felt a bit more familiar than the other homes. They were all beautiful.

I especially loved this quote. Sadly the America that so many people have fought and died for seems to be slipping away. This line of thinking is unheard of in today’s White House. (stepping down from soap box now)

There is a walk through replica of the oval office. It was packed with people (walking around the edges of the room is allowed) so it was impossible to get a good pic. So this is all I got…

See what I mean.

They had a photographer taking pics of people sitting at the desk. My girl and her boyfriend got pics together there. So I’ve got that. : )

The ceiling.

We had a great day. It was beautiful out that day and we enjoyed our visit. Highly recommend it if you visit Big D. : )

And now for something completely different. This is the girl opening her Christmas presents. Christmas before last I made ‘hot dog’ pillowcases for several of her friends, but just made one for her from scraps I already had in my sewing box. It was cute but it wasn’t something I picked just for her. And I kinda felt like I owed her one since I did it for everybody she knows. So I found some cute and happy kitty fabric and made this for her. Since she’s a teen and sleeps like…A LOT…I was able to make this right under her nose without her being aware of it. : ) It was a fun surprise for her.

Have a great day, y’all. : )

in my rear view mirror

So thankful to be on the back side of the holidays. I am always glad when the tree and all the decorations are put away and with it, all the sadness and unfulfilled expectations of ‘the perfect holiday’ can go too.

I lost my mom a few months before Christmas, a few weeks after we found out Bub wasn’t going to make it. That was a somber holiday. We tried to be festive. We tried to keep things exactly the same. We picked out ornaments with each kid just like always. But we had Bub pose with his, because we knew it would go into the attic and the next time we pulled it out, he would be gone. It was hard to muddle through and not behave like all these things were going on. But we tried our best and I think we did ok.

We lost him in April, as most of you know.

So along with the thankfulness that Christmas with all it’s mixed emotions is behind, comes the little ache in my heart, knowing that spring is just around the corner. I love spring. And yet it’s when we lost our little fella. Everything is a mix these days. Joy to the world along with knowing my mom (and now dad too) and my little Bub are with Him for the holiday and every day.

A while back I had an epiphany. When I was growing up, Christmas was perfect and wonderful and my favorite time of the year. Because my parents made it so, while they missed long since gone family they remember from long ago. I don’t know why that realization was comforting (but sad) to me, but it was. It sort of clicked with me that they experienced the same things…love and loss and feeling like it’s not quite right. It’s not new. It’s been going on for generations.

And so it goes…

My newest obsession: NutriBullet

Not very long into my health journey, I bought a fancy pants ($$$) juicer. And I used is a good bit. But the problem was…it took forever to use and clean up. And there were a lot of days that it just wasn’t going to happen. Fast forward a good many months and it’s been a good many months since my juicer came out to play.

And that made me sad.

So I started eyeing all the food “extractors”…Ninja, Vitamix, Blendtek and the NutriBullet. I finally chose the NutriBullet. And I have tell you, I am IN LOVE! 

I bought it last week at Bed Bath and Beyond with a coupon. I got the newer model, the Pro that costs more, but I wanted to make sure it would liquify just about any veggie, so I went with the heavier duty model. But I think either one would make a great improvement to one’s health.

I got it and washed up all the pieces..and then went shopping for some of the ingredients I needed for it and got to work. I made my first ‘blast’ and they call it, and couldn’t believe how fast it was. I just plopped my ingredients into the wide mouth cup (compared to the tiny hole I had to shove all my fruits and veggies down for the juicer), screwed on the lid and in less than a minute, I had a tall glass of liquid nutrition that was tasty, and I could drink it knowing every last drop was healthy stuff made readily available to my body for health.

The NB comes with several cups and blades along with several lid styles and rings to go around the top, to make it more comfortable to drink from the ‘tall cup’ that I make my drink in. It also comes with two books with recipes and tips for success. Aaaaand a web site called NutriLiving (that purchasers get access to for 6 months free…don’t know the price yet for when my 6 months expires) which I am loving so far. Many  many recipes. And since they are a short list of raw foods, I have index cards handy to jot down new ideas for future ‘blasts’. 

I am hoping since it couldn’t be any easier (especially in light of just how long it took to juice ‘the old way’), that this becomes a habit that I can stick to. I am loving the variety and the idea that I can drink my greens and get them incorporated in my diet every day EASILY. Like I said, I’m loving it! : )

Disclaimer..I haven’t been compensated for my views bla bla bla and I bought my NutriBullet myself bla bla bla. Over and out, peeps. : )

kind of like a stroll in the woods {updated with pics}

We went for a walk late Sunday afternoon. We’ve had bitter cold and now warm weather on its heels. Along with ice still decorating the shaded spots along the way.

We drove to a park near our house and hopped out to make ‘the loop’ around a small pond. As we made our way up the path to begin the loop, we noticed the small cluster of trees, decorated with paper snowflakes and bits of ribbon.

Others had plastic orbs and flashy tinsel.

And then we made our way to the foot bridge that carries walkers and bikers over a small creek. It was decorated with arches of red and white with more dangling trimmings. One arch after another until we were across the bridge.

It felt kitschy and fun…a little bit like something from a movie. And it made my usually Grinchy heart swell with the warmth of the season.

May you all enjoy all the things that warm your heart this Christmas and remember the greatest gift of all is Him.

I miss being here but at the same time, rarely feel as though I have anything to add to the conversation. And when I do, I don’t have time to document it. Oh well. I will continue to be sporadic as I can’t bear to just shut ‘er down. Merry Christmas, y’all. : )