the massage

So I went for a massage Friday. I will start with, yes it was nice. I told the hubs that I will want to continue those even after I get well. Made hi$ day. ; )

I went to a small place...my daddy would have called it a hole in the wall joint. It is located in the 'old'/historic area of one of the suburbs near me in a converted house. The waiting area 'out front' is really the old living room. And behind the front desk, is the kitchen etc. Not super fancy but very clean and well appointed for the task. And the entire office and their therapy is very medically oriented which is what I need. Kind of like a compliment to speech therapy. Another therapy.

I met my therapist and she took me to a room. We chatted about what was going on with me and talked about what she wanted to do etc. And the best level of undress. So I undressed and crawled on the HEATED table (yes please) and under the covers..and cradled the pillow she had for me. I can't lie flat on my tummy so she modified everything to make it more comfortable. One shoulder side and then the other. And then some time on my back while she reached under and worked on my neck and back some more and then my neck and arms from my back. It did hurt some, but I am tied up in tense knots. She was barely applying pressure at times and it was still touchy but it was ok. I asked her to lighten up her touch a few times, but I also tried to balance that with her trying to do her job on me.

This week I am going to see the owner because she works on people differently than the girl I had last week. And one of the guys there is great with neck work, so I may end up seeing him at some point. I am more comfortable with all of 'it' since I've been there and met them. I don't think I would feel too weird having a man work on me at some point. I think both the males that work there are super good and very ethical workers. So if I need a guy at some point, I can be open to that.

Did it help? Yes. But not long term. I'm simply not loosened yet. But I could see that it did help some. I am thinking about dropping the crunchy dr for this because it's quite expensive to go to him and then there is massage on top of his fee. Yikes. I can replace him with a chiropractor that takes my insurance and then I'm down to the cost of the massage. (and drop the acupuncture part) Much better. I can get many massages for one crunchy dr office fee. (we file and get a minimal amount back, so it is always a consideration). It's not that I don't love him, I just can't afford that every week or two.

My therapist noted that one part of my shoulders was supposed to be pointing in another direction but it was pointed at her. My muscles have pulled my bones way out of whack. And she said that chiro is very complimentary to this work because she can pull my muscles to where they belong and watch them go right back because of the bones. I have a couple of good leads on a chiro. One very near by and the other about a half hour away. Next door to crunchy dr, coincidentally. And his chiro, coincidentally. So I know he is good. So those are all things that may take place in the future.

I have some good moments. Few. I can get relaxed when I lie down and breathe easier but as soon as I get up it's a struggle again. Boo.  I also quit my scrip for sleep and melatonin is doing the trick and I am able to fall asleep decently. So that's an improvement. I know I will get there. It is just hard. Sometimes I really want to just cry..and I have...but it makes my breathing worse. But I have faith that I will get there. Keep praying for me. Hugs and love, my friends. : )