I read a local news story today about tattooing new nipples on women that have undergone reconstruction surgery. And it just got me to thinking.
Most of the time I don't miss them. And other times I do. It's not a lot of fun to lose a lot of weight but then wait to put on clothes to see how ya look. I try hard not to look in the mirror while dressing etc. It's amazing how much I can avoid seeing even though I'm standing right in front of my reflection.
It's easier that way.
I read the story but the video wouldn't work. Someone in the comments mentioned a 'famous' tattoo artist that only does these types of tats now. And it's called....getting a vinny. So I googled it. And I was amazed. Not that I try to stare at nipples all the time. I spent my whole life trying not to look cold, if ya know what I mean. I read stories about him and watched several news pieces about him.
And I cried.
I miss me. The old me. The whole me. The girl that didn't have to get her girls out of a box. And order bras off Amazon. I still don't think I would reconstruct. It just doesn't seem to fit with other goals I have for myself. It's a very personal decision. One that any woman facing this has to make for herself. There are times I wonder if I will change my mind on the issue. Just. Don't. Know.
But I do know that wholeness isn't measured by whether I have breasts or nipples. It's measured by who I am inside.
Maybe I should get *that* tattooed on me. : )
Edited to add...no tats for me. It's the thought that counts. : )
4 comments:
((Hugs)) sweet friend. There is no right or wrong on this issue, just whatever decision feels right to you at this time. Not that you can't change your mind in the future. You aren't defined by your appearance, but for who you are, and the amazing things you have accomplished by overcoming everything.
I love my tattoo, and don't regret it in the slightest. It was therapeutic for me at the time, and I wouldn't remove it for 'nuthin. So with all that being said, I think you and K should head to a tattoo parlor and get Mother/Daughter tats. Sounds like fun, right? :)
I hate it when you get those feelings….but I suppose that is so normal. So, I love that you are so normal. :)
I can't imagine the thoughts that go through your head; the what-if's etc….
I do like the idea of *that tattoo. You are you no matter what you look like on the outside; that is what makes you special.
XOXOXO
Love how you ended this post, Kay. What an important message -- and yes, one that might make a good tattoo! :) Blessings to you!
I often think of getting a tattoo, but can never decide exactly what or where. A "nip" tattoo makes a lot of sense, but it does sound like it would hurt in an area that has already been through a lot. As you say, though: a totally personal decision.
I am sorry for your loss of liking what you see in the mirror. What you wrote here made me think of blogger Stephanie Nielsen, because she, too, has had to adjust to a totally different reflection in the mirror. I think that feeling of shock at the reflection waits for all of us - with age, hormonal changes (and gravity), but your loss was sudden and due to illness, so it probably feels different than just the "ravages of menopause" that I am seeing in the mirror. I admire your candor and your advocating for yourself. The sauna in the posting above sounds awesome! I hope it brings comfort, enjoyment and most importantly, good health.
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