in a funk

So last night, I cried myself to sleep. And I don’t even know why.

As I mentioned in my last post, we would really like to just get in the van and GO. Get out of here and be somewhere else and enjoy some down time. But as I said, we have no idea where we would like to go. It’s a bummer.

But I think the real crux of it is some sort of strange let down reflex after going through dealing with those little bumps. And not really knowing what was going on there for a little bit. Both my doctors were confident that I was dealing with scar tissue. But in the end, both of them felt it best to get them removed. But it was a lot of here there and everywhere and then surgery…very minor, but still surgery…and then sitting in the recovery room and hearing my nurse tell somebody that she’s the girl that ‘just’ had some scar tissue removed. THAT is how I found out that all was well. Weird. Yes, I had asked for my husband, but I was feeling a little weird so they waited for me to feel a little better to let him come in. I hate that.

So maybe that is why I cried myself to sleep. Just a release from everything that has happened. But I know there is a frustrated-ness too. We have had a pretty bummer few months and now things are good. And yet our routine is just so monotonous at times. And unlike my sweet friend Karen who commented that summer has not arrived in the pacific northwest, there is no doubt that summer has arrived here. It’s been over a hundred for the last several days. Just going outside takes my breath away and makes my skin burn. So the thought of a ‘stay-cation’ kind of makes me laugh. Or melt.

I know that our trip to Tennessee last year was a gift. It was beautiful there and we thoroughly enjoyed the low key trip (but we don’t want to go back). It was a great trip to have fresh on my memory as we dove into dealing with my health for a bit. And now I guess I’m just searching for the next gift after the past few months of rough stuff we’ve dealt with. A fitting bookend to all that has happened, if you will.